Outing jokes
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.