I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out it got rug burn
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Yo mama so hairy,when the baby came out,the baby died because of carpet burning
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
an old man walks in a forest with a child and the child says its dark and im scared the oldman says how do you think i feel i have to walk out alone
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
