Ouchy jokes

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

Ahhhhhhh!

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!