What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted? Nothing.. wife couldn’t tell.
Q - What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s? A - Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
What is Beethoven doing right now? Nothing, because he is dead.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
these are all of my terrible jokes
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I'll serve you but don't start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I'm joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs" the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall, I don't know. I'm asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
Joke
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing It"s an egg joke
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween? - nothing
what the difference between cain dash and a down syndrome? NOTHING
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine
Ever heard of the band 'Nothing but thieves'? Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin
What did the homeless person get for Christmas??? - Nothing €
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
