Nothing jokes
What did the sea say to the sea?
Nothing, it just waved.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!