Noah

Noah jokes

Puck

  • I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

  • 0
  • Girl

  • I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

  • 0
  • Song

  • The Flanders Song

    God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

    Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

    Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

    "Leave me alone!"

  • 1
  • Ted Danson

  • What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

    What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

    What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

    What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

    What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

    Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

    I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

  • 2
  • Sleep

  • My friends:

    Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

    Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

    Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

    Me: You guys are getting sleep...

  • 7
  • Language

  • What do you call a bad joke?

    A bad Noah!

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah