Night

Night Jokes

What time is it when you get home can you walk walk home šŸ” was your night night you and had fun I had dinner šŸ“ night time and a tree šŸŒ³ I had dinner šŸ„˜ is it a magic time dinner šŸ„˜ I have been home šŸ  was good

What time is it when you get home can you walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school šŸ« oooooo day a great šŸ‘ night for

What is a good time for dinner and what do I do for you and dinner dinner and what yyyuyy dinner šŸ“ night time

My dad...came over late at night...he was drunk...he started telling me how useless I was...then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times......3 minutes later......he died........now Iā€™m losing mind..and cutting myself....

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.

The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

Q: Whatā€™s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Letā€™s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: Whatā€™s a math teacherā€™s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Letā€™s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: Whatā€™s a math teacherā€™s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: Whatā€™s a fireflyā€™s favorite dance?

A: The glitterbug.

Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

A: Because they always make-up

via GIPHY

Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

A: In their flowerbed

Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics?

A: She was a flip-flop

Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

A: A t-shirt

Q: Whatā€™s rainā€™s favorite accessory?

A: A rainbow

Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

A: The Dish-co

Q: Whatā€™s a princessā€™s favorite time?

A: Knight time.

Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

Q: Whatā€™s a ballerinaā€™s favorite type of bread?

A: A bun.

Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

A: Hip hop.

Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

A: Shop ā€˜til they hop.

via GIPHY

Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

A: She nailed it.

Q: What is cornā€™s favorite music?

A: Pop.

Q: Why canā€™t Monday lift Saturday?

A: Itā€™s a weak day.

Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

A: He was running for office.

Q: What is a soccer playerā€™s favorite chemical element?

A: Goooooooooooold!

Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

A: He was a cheetah.

Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

A: Inside.

Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

A: He forgot his lawsuit.

Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

A: He crashed the computer

via GIPHY

Q: Whatā€™s a ball that you donā€™t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

A: An eyeball.

Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

A: Shells.

Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

A: In the fall.

Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

A: Because he knew he would pass.

Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

A: Because it was flat.

Q: Why didnā€™t the farmer's son study medicine?

A: Because he wanted to go into a different field?

Q: What is the math teacherā€™s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r

I did a walk today and had fun today I did not have to go get my kids and get my new house šŸ  was good today I had fun I did a walk today I had fun today but Iā€™m going to be at the car šŸš˜ when Iā€™m at my car šŸš˜ was your night time is what time did

Good day today love šŸ’• you walk in love šŸ˜» day and a walk home šŸ” night night I did not get snow ā›„ļø I love šŸ’• it is the day that we get a tree šŸŒ² I have to go get some sleep šŸ’¤ was good day at school today but Iā€™m going to be

What is the difference between a human and a magic house to the earth is the human body of the human being human is it human human can be the one ā˜ļø day today after the night is the snow ā„ļø time and a

I did a walk today but it was good for Tyler I was just a good time to sleep good I got yyy night and a night

What time is it when you get home can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog šŸ• today is the night I can drive