Newcastle jokes

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

What’s New York’s favorite game?

2001 flight simulator.

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.