Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
GOOGOO?
RTY!
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Why isn't there much honey in Brazil?
Because there's only one B in Brazil.
I have more chin than the Chinese phone book.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?