Worst Jokes Ever

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.

911, what's your emergency?

Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

Well, it's not a living room anymore.

Me: Hangs up.

Why do nuns go around in pairs?

So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.

I am a dead baby. -end joke-

What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?

$2 billion and high cholesterol.

What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.

Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

Just laugh.

HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.

When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

Yes yes yes the yes yes he did but what u tolk xjxfjgjcmbjhdkggdjlud.

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.

Why can't orphans go to field trips?

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