Worst Jokes Ever
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.