Worst Jokes Ever
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
GOOGOO?
RTY!
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Why isn't there much honey in Brazil?
Because there's only one B in Brazil.