Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Ouch!
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."