Worst Jokes Ever

When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.

What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?

Hopscotch.

I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.

Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"

(B)

OKAY.

Why are S and U never thirsty?

They drink tea (T).

Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.

Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

You're more depressing than your own abortion video.

Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.

What do Jews and Black people have in common?

Living off welfare checks.

If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?

Why do Jews suck at mugging?

Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.

Now I'm terrified of airports.

Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.

When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.

What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?

A dictator.

What's a cancer patient's favorite food?

Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy