Worst Jokes Ever
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.
Yo mama is so ugly that her DoorDash driver took her order away.
Yo mama so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.
Yo mama so dumb she bought a toolkit to open up a Roth IRA.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
A guard at a baseball stadium let in the pheasant, the chicken, and the duck. But he didn't let in the turkey. Why? Because four strikes and you are out!
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.
What's an Indian scammer's worst nightmare? Google Playstore points being redeemed.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
I'm not sure if you have any feelings because everything about you seems very dull.
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.