A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
