Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!