Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!