Mr President jokes

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).

The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).

The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)

The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)

The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!

The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)

The teen: QUAL (WHICH).

The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).

The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).

*A phone buzzes.*

The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?

Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?

*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*

The teen: HAIR GEL

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?

The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!