New You're Memes - Page 47 - Worst Jokes Ever

Toaster

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

Technology

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Fine I'll soon turn this wasteland of a page into r/Admech and r/AdeptusMechanicus habitable sites by myself

The image shows two panels of a character that looks like a TechPriest from Warhammer 40k. The top panel has the text: "Use newly invented weapons that are superior than your current ones to assist the Imperium." The bottom panel has the text: "Putting them in storage for hundreds of years so you can claim that you can 'Rediscover Old Technology'."

Human

CUTE BOY😝 · 3 years ago

OMG

A white and orange cat is sitting on a rocky surface outside, looking directly at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "WHEN YOU REALIZE YOUR HUMANS ARE TRYING TO BECOME YOU BY PRACTICING SOCIAL DISTANCING, STAYING HOME ALL THE TIME, AND CLEANING THEMSELVES OFTEN."

Hoodie

CUTE BOY · 3 years ago

THIS IS ME

A person with long brown hair is wearing a blue hoodie with the hood pulled over their head, obscuring their face. Only their mouth is visible. The background shows a classroom with 'WELCOME' written on the wall.

Quiz

I'm ¨not¨ drunk · 3 years ago

Very interesting

The image shows a psychopathy quiz result. It says "Psychopathy Likely" and the score is 20 out of 24. It says that the quiz was answered consistently with people who score high on measures of psychopathy and psychopathic behavior, which suggests the person likely has psychopathic tendencies.

Hotel

Anonymous · 3 years ago

When your in a hotel and hear muffled moaning from another room

A screenshot from a YouTube video of Eminem with a shocked facial expression. The subtitle reads, "Something's wrong, I can feel it."

Work

NICE GIRL · 3 years ago

WTH

A picture shows a baby trying to sneak out of work. Text on the image reads: "WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO SNEAK OUT OF WORK AND YOUR BOSS WALKS IN."

Boss

NICE GIRL · 3 years ago

WTF

A baby with wide eyes and a concerned expression is pictured. The text on the image reads, "THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU SEE YOUR BOSS ON THE GOLF COURSE AFTER CALLING IN SICK."

Good boy

😝 SWEET B*TCH😝 · 3 years ago

off

A light-colored dog with its head tilted back, showing a wide, toothy grin and closed eyes. Text on the right side of the image reads, "WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU'RE A GOOD BOY."

Dragon

😝 SWEET B*TCH😝 · 3 years ago

uj

A black and white dog with wide eyes is standing with text overlayed on top: "NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR PILLS.... BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE DRAGONS IN THE KITCHEN?"

Face

COOL GIRL😜 · 3 years ago

bro

The image shows a message written in red on a white wall in a bathroom that reads "I can't wait to wear your face".

Tragedy

Kai :) · 3 years ago

omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one

A screenshot of a YouTube comment. It tells a story about a person whose mother and sister die in a car accident. After some time, they open their old PS2 and find a note from their mom stating that they can play after the chores are done. She also writes that she loves them. The commenter notes that the mother never came home and they never received their hugs and kisses.

Friend

Kai :) · 3 years ago

im sobbing, fruit wuz my first friend on here, and now he's gone :<

A text message screenshot saying:
"Can confirm this is me. I didn't sign in, and I won't sign in ever again. You guys are the best. Dagger, stfu. but fr tho, Dagger, you should pursue being a therapist. I believe in you, your awesome. (wrong you're on purpose) :hello:, you're a great friend. stay out of trouble. Cas/Kai, You are a genuine comedian, you make me feel good about myself, and you are very kind. Ashton, STFU. Bye ya'll. For real this time."

People

Wilkinsonburritos · 3 years ago

imagine making your own meme

The meme shows two images, a sign for "Vernon Valley Action Park" with a red circle around "Action Park", and then two images of Mr. Incredible. The first one is smiling and is labeled "People who don't know," the second one is distressed, and it's labeled "People who know..."

Selfie

🦄 Entity · 3 years ago

When you take a Selfie of your new Vehicle...

A pilot is taking a selfie with an airplane in the background and is positioned so the viewer can see his tie. The plane is flying over the ocean with mountains and a city in the distance.

Dad

MisterDussel · 3 years ago

My Dad:,,Dont Smoke its very bad for your health" Also my Dad:

A green pea shooter plant from Plants vs Zombies with a cigarette in its mouth.

Grandparent

Manga fan · 3 years ago

Meme:

The image shows a still from a movie with a character with a large head, long beard, and a slightly confused expression. Above this character, there is text that reads, "My grandparents watching me change the TV source from HDMI 1 to HDMI 2." Below the character, is the text "You're a wizard Harry."

Friend

ꀘꍏꌩ꒒ꍏ🧚✨ツ · 3 years ago

lol me all the time

The image shows two men sitting on a couch. One man on the left is being held with his mouth covered by the other man. The text above the image says, "When your best friend starts telling..." and text below says "... an embarrassing story about you."

Number

Lostin Flowers · 3 years ago

Let me know what your results are!

The image shows four circles with different patterns and numbers inside. The first one is blue-ish with the number 12. It indicates kidney disease. The second one is orange with the number 15 and corresponds to lung cancer. The third one is yellow with no discernible number suggesting a brain tumor. The last one is black with the number 28, indicating heart disease.

Smoking

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 · 3 years ago

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.