Worst Jokes Ever

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Anonymous

REALLLL THO

The image shows two pictures of a bird on a hand. The first one is a bird standing on a hand, with a regular shape. The second one shows the same bird sitting down, and its body looks flatter, with its thighs making it wider. The text reads "when you sit down and your thighs do the thing".

Anonymous

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

Flappy.

A person is holding many phones in their hands with the text "Block my number b**ch I dare you" on the top of the image.

Anonymous

A drawing shows two people. One person, wrapped in bandages, is standing. The other one is crouched in a corner looking sad. The text above them says: this isn't a disrespectful question btw. if you're catholic you believe Christ was fully human, fully divine. To deny that he had sexual temptations implies that he wasn't fully human, making you a blasphemer (punishable by excommunication for most of history) now answer: boobs. or ass.

Anonymous

Hotter than the sun.

The image shows Spongebob lying on the ground with a dark shadow overlayed on his face and body. The text reads: "When you missed the eclipse so she recreates it for you."

arsonisfun

He scares me

The image shows a man painting on a canvas. The image contains four panels. The first panel shows him painting. There is text on top that says, "First, let's add some screams of unbearable confusion in the unpainted areas of the canvas." The second panel shows him looking closely at the canvas. The third panel shows him adding more paint and the text says, "How about it? Do you feel the terror?" The fourth panel shows him painting again and the text says, "Let's add some sorrow-filled screams now." At the very bottom of the image, there is text that says, "I just found anti-Bob Ross."

Wade

The image shows a three panel meme featuring the 'Stonks Guy'. The first panel depicts text that reads, 'You make a mistake on a test' with the Stonks Guy looking anxious and the word 'Panik' below. The second panel shows text that reads 'You erase it' and the Stonks Guy is looking calm with the word 'Kalm' below. The third panel has text that reads, 'The eraser tears the paper, leaves a big stain, and doesn't erase anything' with the Stonks Guy looking very angry and the word 'ANGERY' below.

Anonymous

My friend is has the best ideas

A screenshot of a discord conversation. Windy says that hopefully a bad situation wont happen, and the two friends might work it out. Seth replies with 'Eh'. Windy then says if the situation happens too much, to just put the persons parents in a retirement home. Seth replies with 'Lmao'.

rapboat

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a poster with the text "Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. NO SMOKING". There is a picture of a squirrel on the right side of the poster.

Heroin Monkey

AG (Anon) 4 minutes ago
A
No shit, you said that before.
A
A
AG (Anon) now
I am also gay, I wish my grandpa would let me fuck him
AG (Anon) now
But for now I guess i'll just have to settle with raping my dog

Heroin Monkey

The image consists of two sections. The top section shows a man, possibly Putin, in a black jacket looking at another man with surprise. The text above reads, "You kicked the wrong chair." In the background, two other men are visible. The lower section shows a screen capture from a game with the text "NEW LOCATION DISCOVERED" and the word "Gulag" highlighted in yellow along with "+162 XP".

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel image using screenshots from Star Wars. In the first panel an editor states that the plural of 'dwarf' is 'dwarfs' not 'dwarves'. The second panel shows Tolkien asking 'Are you threatening me?' The third panel shows the editor declaring 'The Dictionary will decide your fate.' Finally, the fourth panel shows Tolkien stating 'I wrote the Dictionary.'

Heroin Monkey

A person with a blurred, bright glow is looking directly at the viewer. The text says "Pov: You live in Hiroshima and look up at the sky on August 6, 1945."

Heroin Monkey

A slice of pizza with pepperoni on top has chicken bones sticking out from underneath. Above the pizza is a speech bubble that says "You like your pizza bone-in or boneless?"

Heroin Monkey

A turkey with crab legs and string sausage on a baking tray. The text reads: "A turkey, some crab legs and some string sausage and nobody will ever ask you to make a holiday dinner again."

Anonymous

Sir are you on crack?

A person looking up at the camera with a slightly odd expression. The person's face fills much of the frame and there's a blurry background of trees and pavement visible.

Anonymous

The image shows a birthday card that reads "Happy Birthday. You Ruined My Life" and at the top "For that special band member". Below the image, the phrase "For that special band member" is also written.

Anonymous

Three dogs are sitting on a kitchen floor. Two labrador puppies are on the left and right, while a black pug is in the middle. The text on the image says: "When your friends are hot and you're just... well you're just you.."

Anonymous

A man is covering his face with one hand. The text above the image says: "When the person you hate falls" and below the man it says: "omg is the floor ok?"

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