Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Anonymous

The image shows two maps, one of Oman and one of Yemen. Above the map of Oman is written: "Using the Drake format". Above the map of Yemen is written: "Using whatever this is".

Heroin Monkey

A chaotic battle scene with numerous figures in armor wielding weapons. Text on top reads: "IT'S THE FINAL CONDOM" and text on the bottom: "OR WHATEVER EUROPE SAID"

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a split comparison. In the top half, a cruise ship is moving through calm water, and the text says, "Doing tutorial." In the bottom half, a person is struggling to stand on a paddleboard in the middle of the ocean, holding an umbrella for balance. The text above reads, "Whatever the fuck I'm trying to do on my own."

Anonymous

Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.

The image is a six-panel cartoon depicting a couple sitting at a desk with a laptop. In the first panel, the woman is asking the man for help. The man then helps her. Then the woman asks him to come closer again. Finally, the man hugs her while she is using her laptop. The text bubbles say: "CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?", "HERE... DONE!", "CAN YOU COME HERE AGAIN?" and "BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels. The first shows a cartoon character on fire running towards a strange, cyclops-like character. The text says, "Stop normalising the grind and normalise whatever the f*ck this is." The second panel shows another cartoon character with the text "millions who took the pill that works both ways must die."

The Unknown King of Moderation

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

CrackedRuby_alt

Welp

A three-panel cartoon shows a man being threatened by a robber, who is smoking, who says 'Ya know, cigarettes are gonna kill you someday'. The man replies 'Ya, sure, whatever pal'. In the final panel, the man is being chased by armed cigarettes and a match.

Wade

BULLETS OF VENGEANCE

A comic book style image shows Moon Knight, wearing a white mask and suit with a black vest and ammo belt, holding two rifles. There is a speech bubble above him that reads, "Taste the bullets of vengeance! Way cooler than whatever bullets Punisher uses." The background has splatters of red blood or paint.

freddyfatbear

so you have chosen...death

The image shows a text conversation where a spider is described as running around, and the person is unconcerned. Then the spider gets close and the person responds with a still from a movie with a man saying, "So you have chosen... death."

blach66

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says: "Just take a minute and think about Riley's retarded hair cut. Shut up look at your greasy ass hair." The next message says: "Have you not released I don't give a small singular shit about my hair." The following message says: "There's probably shit in your hair." Finally, the last messages read: "It looks better than whatever dead raccoon has been super glued onto your forehead. But Yeah probably."

GG Miller

for fat people......... sorry

A light yellow image with two cartoon minion characters. The top minion is wearing blue overalls and has one eye covered with a goggle. The bottom minion is looking to the right, wearing blue overalls and has big round eyes. The text says: "Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too."

Minecraft

Can i have a girlfriend?

The image shows Thanos, a muscular, purple-skinned villain, clenching his fist with the infinity gauntlet while looking down at a woman with red hair. The text on the image reads: "Can I have a girlfriend?" above Thanos, and "Reality can be whatever I want" below.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ScIenCeTISTS

The image displays a meme format with the text "Nobody: Salespeople:" at the top. Below, it shows a man, Willem Dafoe, in a suit, with a caption "You know, I'm something of a whatever you just said myself".