Worst Jokes Ever

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Wait Memes

Anonymous

An unpleasant pause.

Two people are looking at each other. Text above them reads: "When the show on Netflix is actually good". Text on the bottom of the image reads: "[exhales] The head can wait."

rapboat

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a close-up of a man's face with a serious expression. He is bald, wearing glasses, and has a beard. Above the image, it says, "Oh man I can't wait to play GTA 6!!" Below that, it says, "The sudden pain in the left side of my chest:".

Thoughtless

A four panel cartoon shows a man with a bow and arrow, Robin, taking a bag of gold from a king and stating he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. In the second panel the king states that Robin took all his money and now he is the poor one. In the third panel Robin is looking at a bag of gold stating he is now the rich one and a woman looks at him surprised. In the fourth panel Robin is handing the woman a bag of gold saying sorry but it is only fair.

Heroin Monkey

A group of sperm cells with speech bubbles. One sperm says, "I can't wait to be a cinephile like dad." Another one says, "Bro, we are in a Dune 2 popcorn bucket."

Thoughtless

Wait what???

A person is applying makeup to transform into a clown. The four images show the progression: first white base makeup, then the clown's specific makeup, then a wig, and finally the finished clown face. The text reads, "I don't always have dementia, but when I do..." repeated over each image.

DAP ME UP

Two astronauts in space are facing each other. One is pointing a gun at the other. The astronaut on the left has the US flag on his uniform, the astronaut on the right has the Ohio flag. Next to them is a blue planet with a green area that is the shape of Ohio with the text "Ohio" on it. The text above the first astronaut is "Wait it's all Ohio?", and the text above the other is "Always has been"

Heroin Monkey

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets are shown. The first tweet says: "Imagine walking 2km to hatch an egg and it turning out to be a fucking magikarp." The second tweet is by user Magikarp The Fish saying: "imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you"

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Heroin Monkey

A black and white dog named Artoo is in front of a United States map. A list with three dots and the names Trump, Biden, and Artoo is shown on the left.

doom enternel

waiting for female mate

A dog is standing on a tiled floor. Above its tail a blurred image of a peacock fan is added. The text in the image asks: "Have you ever been so happy you became a peacock?"

Anonymous

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

ɮǟʀօռ ɦɛʟʍʊȶ zємσ

The image is a comparison of how girls and boys use Photoshop. The text above the image says "girls with photoshop: i can't wait to make myself look pretty." Below is an image of a buffed-up Bob Ross wearing a cape, gold chain and holding a paint brush and palette as if he is in a fight.

Wade

A five-panel image depicting different stages of a person trying to understand the lore of FNaF (Five Nights at Freddy's), with a progression from playing the game to kidnapping the creator, Scott Cawthon. The first panel shows a brain with intricate patterns and text that reads "Playing FNaF for the lore." The second panel is similar, depicting the brain with a glowing center and reads "Watching theories on youtube about the FNaF lore." The third panel shows a blue figure with bright energy around the heart and reads "Trying to solve the FNaF lore." The fourth panel shows a red, fiery figure with raised arms and reads "Waiting for the FNaF lore to solve itself." The final panel shows a stick figure with a weapon and reads "Kidnapping Scott Cawthon and make him reveal the FNaF lore."

M3ME G0D

3 year old me on the toilet
waiting for my mom to
wipe my ass

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