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Santa

12 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a comment thread. The first comment, from user 'Messisdaddy', states "Those moans be faker than Santa". The second comment below, from 'bobbobve', asks "Wait Santa fake?"

Game

kate✨ · 1 year ago

Mr. Krabs is shown on a golf course in the style of a screenshot from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants." The text above him reads, "Sony: Publishes a live service game that sold well. Also Sony:". The text on the bottom of the image reads, "Wait a minute, I hate PC users".

Time

139 views · Your local comrade · 1 year ago

🎵There's a star-man waiting in the sky🎵

In a comic book style image, Superman flies with other heroes in the background. Text in the foreground reads: "Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it, they have to climb up to the two tallest buildings in New York."

Bio

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

wait did caley date ashton this is her uwu crew bio

Father

1 view · shaylie lol · 1 year ago

A young man sits in the backseat of a car, looking slightly awkward. The text overlay says: "When your father is yelling at you about being irresponsible on your way to school and you're waiting to tell him that you forgot your bag at home."

Daniel

33 views · ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 1 year ago

forgot me smh

A person wearing a racing suit and a cap is drinking from a shoe. The text on the image says, "I can't wait. 1. daniel avacado."

Show

2 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

An unpleasant pause.

Two people are looking at each other. Text above them reads: "When the show on Netflix is actually good". Text on the bottom of the image reads: "[exhales] The head can wait."

Rapper

3 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Man

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a close-up of a man's face with a serious expression. He is bald, wearing glasses, and has a beard. Above the image, it says, "Oh man I can't wait to play GTA 6!!" Below that, it says, "The sudden pain in the left side of my chest:".

Robin

12 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago

A four panel cartoon shows a man with a bow and arrow, Robin, taking a bag of gold from a king and stating he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. In the second panel the king states that Robin took all his money and now he is the poor one. In the third panel Robin is looking at a bag of gold stating he is now the rich one and a woman looks at him surprised. In the fourth panel Robin is handing the woman a bag of gold saying sorry but it is only fair.

Dad

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A group of sperm cells with speech bubbles. One sperm says, "I can't wait to be a cinephile like dad." Another one says, "Bro, we are in a Dune 2 popcorn bucket."

Dementia

8 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago

Wait what???

A person is applying makeup to transform into a clown. The four images show the progression: first white base makeup, then the clown's specific makeup, then a wig, and finally the finished clown face. The text reads, "I don't always have dementia, but when I do..." repeated over each image.

Ohio

4 views · DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

Two astronauts in space are facing each other. One is pointing a gun at the other. The astronaut on the left has the US flag on his uniform, the astronaut on the right has the Ohio flag. Next to them is a blue planet with a green area that is the shape of Ohio with the text "Ohio" on it. The text above the first astronaut is "Wait it's all Ohio?", and the text above the other is "Always has been"

Grandpa

24 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

Wait

35 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Corner

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Corner

20 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Egg

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two tweets are shown. The first tweet says: "Imagine walking 2km to hatch an egg and it turning out to be a fucking magikarp." The second tweet is by user Magikarp The Fish saying: "imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you"

Review

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

Story

58 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

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