Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A woman is lying in bed looking annoyed. Next to her is a giant egg. The text above the image reads: "Her: he's probably thinking about other girls... Him: I am egg". There is a Twitter account name of @DennysDiner above the text.

Heroin Monkey

The image is divided into three sections. The first section says "What 'Lefty' shills want you to think:" and shows portraits of five US presidents with halos and jet fighters in the background. The second section says "What 'Righty' shills want you to think:" and shows the exact same portraits of the same five presidents, with halos and jet fighters in the background. The third section says "The Truth:" and shows the same five positions populated by different dinosaur-like creatures, with the same jet fighters in the background.

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel comic strip using Lego figures. In the first panel, a Lego patient tells a Lego doctor, "Doctor I think I have internal bleeding." The second panel shows the doctor saying, "That's where the blood is supposed to be." The third panel shows the doctor with a smile. The final panel shows the doctor with the same expression as the previous panel, holding a bill saying "+$3000."

Silly Sonka

Why?

A man and a woman are lying in bed next to each other. The woman is looking at the man and thinking, "I bet he's thinking about other women." The man is looking up and thinking, "Why is a pizza box a square, the pizza a circle, and the slices are triangles?"

Heroin Monkey

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Heroin Monkey

A bar chart shows the percentage of Brits and Americans who think they could beat different animals in a fight, including rat, house cat, goose, medium-sized dog, eagle, large dog, chimpanzee, king cobra, kangaroo, wolf, crocodile, gorilla, lion, elephant, and grizzly bear. There's an image of a person boxing a kangaroo.

Heroin Monkey

A close-up photo of a deodorant can with the text "WHAT THE HELL" above the can and "WERE THEY THINKING" below the instruction. The instruction says "SHAKE WELL" and there is an illustration of a hand shaking a can. There is also a "Deodorant directions" label.

Heroin Monkey

The meme shows two images: The top one is a picture of Bill Gates in 1989 with the text: "It's amazing to think what great and exciting things people will be doing with PC's in 30 years". The bottom image is of a comment from Jedi_Master_Yoda69 saying: "your anakin voice is turning me on, beat the meat i must."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split view. The top half shows a serene beach scene with a blue sky and calm ocean. The bottom half shows a man kicking an alligator in a muddy swamp, with other alligators nearby. The text at the top reads: "HOW TOURISTS THINK FLORIDA IS" and the text at the bottom reads: "FLORIDA IRL".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split screen. On the left, there's a picture of actor Ryan Gosling. On the right, there's a picture of a man with a beard and glasses wearing a yellow shirt, who resembles the actor, smiling while touching his chin. The text above reads: "People been telling me I look like Ryan Gosling what y'all think?" Below the two photos is another text: "My mans posted two photos of Ryan Gosling like we wouldn't notice."

Heroin Monkey

A blue silhouette of a person hanging on gymnastic rings is visible on the white wall of a gym. The text above says: "I made a deal with the devil. He took my legs, but I still think it was worth it."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels. The top panel shows three aliens with the text "Do you think humans have caught up to us yet?" on the left and "I don't know, let's take a look at their social media" on the right. The middle panel is a distorted image of a frog with a red glow and the text "When it's soup time". The bottom panel shows the same three aliens, with the text "It turns out, they have surpassed us".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet asks whether Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane, or if he "beat gorilla cheeks." The second tweet is a reply showing a Google search bar with the text "How to delete someone else's tweet."

𐌋𐌉Ꝋ𐌍 𐌊𐌉𐌍Ᏽ

An elderly woman with glasses is squinting at a laptop screen while holding her fingers in a way that looks like she is pinching something. Above her head is the text 'I THINK' and below is 'I SPIDER'.

Smãll Kîng Dãvîd

Question and answer 🙄

A cartoon drawing shows a mother standing at a door, asking her son where he is going. The son, with a backpack, sarcastically replies that he is going to heaven, since he is clearly in his school uniform.

Wade

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

Bill Cipher

Lol same

The image shows a five-panel meme. The title of the meme says, "When I want to kill myself." The first panel, labeled "What my friends think I do," shows a hand reaching for pills. The second panel, labeled "What my mom thinks I do," shows a noose. The third panel, labeled "What I think I do," shows a man with a gun pointed to his head. The fourth panel, labeled "What society thinks I do," shows a razor blade held in a hand. The fifth panel, labeled "What I really do," shows a man laughing at a computer screen with the text "Ahah" and "That's a funny meme".

Wade

I love this comic run so much

The comic shows Spider-Man and Deadpool looking at each other with confusion. In the second panel, a fiery horse carriage drives by. In the last panel, they discuss the 19th-century Ghost Rider and his potential involvement in the wrong Civil War. The text in the speech bubbles says: NEIGH! Did you just see that? 19th Century Ghost Rider? Yup. Oh man, do you think he's showing up to fight in the wrong civil war? Let's hope he fights for the North, otherwise he's not gonna like taking orders from a black Captain America.

Wade

Attack on Deadpool

The image shows a large being looming over a burning city with Deadpool in the foreground. Deadpool exclaims: "Oh my god!... I think I left the oven on at home!". The text above says: GOOGLED "ATTACK ON DEADPOOL" and below says: WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.

Galokin

The image shows two frames of a cartoon man standing next to a display stand with a velvet rope barrier. In the first frame, the man is smiling and gesturing towards the display stand with the caption "This is where I put my jokes". In the second frame, the man is frowning and looking frustrated with the caption "if I could think about new ones".

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