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She

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • 1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
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    Titanic

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*
  • 0
  • Family

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.
  • 0
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    Gender Stereotype

    Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago
  • The image features a split screen. The top half shows a close-up of two animated alien characters, Stitch (blue) and Angel (pink) from the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch, kissing. The bottom half contains a text-based meme formatted as a conversation between a 'guy at disney' and a 'disney ceo'. The conversation sarcastically explains the stereotypical design choices made for Angel to signify her as female, specifically mentioning long antennae, mascara, a protruding chest, and the color pink.
  • 0
  • Answer

    human#619 · 3 years ago
  • who is she. wrong answers only

    A full-body, digital drawing of a young girl with pink hair, green eyes, and black hair accessories. She is wearing a black and gold dress, white stockings and black shoes. Her hands are resting on her hips, and she has a subtle, closed-mouth smile. The background is solid black.
  • 12
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    Passenger

    Thoughtless · 1 year ago
  • A newspaper clipping with text about a woman complaining about airplane bathroom windows and a stewardess replying that if there is a pervert clinging to the plane, they deserve to see everything.
  • 0
  • Belief

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • The top part of the image shows text on a tan fabric that says "She's broken because she believed" with the words "she" and "believed" in a different, more muted, color. The bottom part of the image says "No one:" and "Him:" above an image of a pot lid.
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    Minion

    GG Miller · 3 years ago
  • i'll be the minion on the right

    The image shows two columns labeled "To Mom" and "To Dad". The "To Mom" column lists many common child complaints and requests. The "To Dad" column contains a single question: "Where's Mom?" Two minions are depicted in the "To Dad" column, looking confused.
  • 1
  • Netflix

    Wade · 2 years ago
  • A still from a movie with two characters, a man and a woman looking surprised. The text reads: "When she wants Netflix and chill but the show is actually pretty good."
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    Year

    not_pimi_gal2009 · 3 years ago
  • when she feels 21 yrs old

    A woman in a red coat and hat is exiting a car, appearing a bit clumsy. The text on the image is: "when she feels 21 yrs old".
  • 1
  • Someone Else

    Eddie_Munson_Lover · 3 years ago
  • When you think she likes someone else

    A close-up of a stone statue's face, with a tear rolling down its cheek.
  • 0
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    Girl

    Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago
  • A screenshot of a 4chan greentext post from October 11, 2015. It features an image of a young blonde girl and the following text: ">been chatting with cute 14 year old girl >really flirty and sexy >now she tells me she's an undercover cop >how fucking cool is that for someone her age"
  • 0
  • Comment

    United Kingdom UK · 4 months ago
  • A screenshot of a comment section where a user named .DINOSOURS LOVER. asks "guys im color blind what color she added?". A user named Wander replies "She's adding blue :D". After .DINOSOURS LOVER. thanks them, a third user named Pistachio asks "How did you read if ur blind 🤨", confusing color blindness with being totally blind.
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    Goo

    ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 2 years ago
  • real.

    A man is wearing glasses with one lens that is fully black. Above the man is the text "Her: goo goo gaga"
  • 0
  • Name

    Face mcshooty · 1 year ago
  • A still from a film with a man looking slightly perplexed above the text "When she wants me to open up but I already told her my full name and favorite color."
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    Freddy's

    Yuri · 2 years ago
  • sad

    An image of the character Bonnie from Five Nights at Freddy's, looking sad with a cigarette in his mouth. The text on the image reads: "She was my chica until I found out she spent 5 nights at Freddy's."
  • 1
  • Hello Kitty

    trixiedixie🥰 · 2 years ago
  • An image of a Hello Kitty figurine with red eyes and a blood-splattered knife. The text overlay reads: "In the day, she likes Hello Kitty. At night she drops the 'O'."
  • 1
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    Homework

    Anonymous · 1 year ago
  • A screenshot of a phone notification screen shows multiple notifications from "Electron arrangements" stating that "Mrs V. Gilroy has set a new Chemistry homework". The text at the top says: "I THINK SHE TOOK IS A BIT... SERIOUSLY".
  • 2
  • Brit

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.
  • 0
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    Kid

    Why should you care · 1 year ago
  • this is me

    The image features a still from the movie Anchorman, showing Ron Burgundy, played by Will Ferrell, sitting at a desk in a blue suit with a striped tie, holding a beer bottle. The text in white font above and below him reads: 'LET'S BE HONEST. HOMESCHOOLING MY KID IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER WEIRD. I'M HER MOTHER... SHE WAS DOOMED FROM THE START.'
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