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RealBoat

r/future
2h
Join
Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up
fucking his bitch
Discussion
Literally told him not to talk on my goat like that shit
was 8/10 MINIMUM. Asked his girl to meet up, told her
let's get some Mac Donald's, then she gave me head
ion even feel bad Lmaooo
↑ 88
○ 26
☑☑

Anonymous

A screenshot of a phone notification screen shows multiple notifications from "Electron arrangements" stating that "Mrs V. Gilroy has set a new Chemistry homework". The text at the top says: "I THINK SHE TOOK IS A BIT... SERIOUSLY".

Heroin Monkey

The image displays a text that says "Boomer ladies: Hahah minion memes. Millennial girls: oh no, Donald Trump racist. 14 y.o girls:". Below there is an image of a girl with superimposed text that reads "SHE SHITS HERSELF".

BellaTrix

Ew potter

The image shows two scenes. The first scene has an image of Harry Potter with a Bellatrix look alike kissing his head. The second shows what looks like a behind the scene where Bellatrix and another person sit at a table with lots of items on it. At the bottom, there is a text overlay: "Helena Bonham Carter said that her character Bellatrix was afraid of Harry because she couldn't understand how a 17 year old boy was able to overpower Lord Voldemort."

Anonymous

A man is looking to the right in a close up shot. Text above reads: "When you getting tortured by the Cartel but the leader thick ahh Colombian daughter walks in so I gotta withstand the pain so she doesn't get the ick."

rapboat

The image is a two-panel comic showing examples of appropriate and inappropriate workplace behavior. In the top panel, a man is labeled "APPROPRIATE" and says, "She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty (Booty)." A woman at her desk responds, "AWWW, YOU'RE SWEET." In the bottom panel, a man is labeled "INAPPROPRIATE" and says, "Grippy, huh. Grippy, I call her that 'cause it's grippy." The same woman is now on the phone, saying, "HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!" The faces of the men are replaced with pictures of the rappers Gunna and J. Cole respectively.

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

A two-panel image. In the first panel, a man shows off a diamond-studded watch. In the second panel, the same man takes a selfie in the mirror. The text above reads, "She called me Jewish cause she knows the drip Israel 100."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

not_pimi_gal2009

when Queen Elizabeth does her evil face when she hates someone : be like :'/

The image shows a two-panel comparison. On the left, Queen Elizabeth has a visible frown. On the right, a picture of Kate Middleton with a neutral expression. There is no text on the image.

not_pimi_gal2009

{ before Queen Elizabeth ii died :/ she was cracked at fortnite }

The image shows a split-screen with three panels. The left panel shows a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II with a blue hat. The center panel shows a version of Queen Elizabeth II holding a gun and appearing to be in the game Fortnite with a bright sun and green hills. The right panel shows a weapon from the video game Fortnite.

Wade

Don’t think, just do, live in the now, don’t care about the future, yeeeeee

The image shows a cartoon character with a shocked expression sitting in a blue chair with his finger pointed. The text above the character reads: "When she asks if you brought protection:". Below the cartoon, the text states: "How dare you make me consider the long term!"

Cahyani Ambara

My friend when she gets confused :

A simple, hand-drawn image of a character with a brown mushroom-like haircut, a short line for a mouth, a bright pink dress, and orange pants. The face shows confusion.

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️

Me always be like on a weekend :

The image shows two different images of Spongebob. The image to the left shows Spongebob wearing glasses and reading a book. The right image shows Spongebob in a weird form, with two antenna-like things on top of his head and with a sassy attitude. The text on top reads: 'What Lightbulb THINKS she acts like: What she actually acts like:'

Hgfdfrgt

When she sends feet

A still from the cartoon "The Amazing World of Gumball" with Richard Watterson at his computer, sporting a headset, as if in a gaming session. The text "ACARI" is above the screen. There are various plush toy-like figures in the background.

BellaTrix

I’m amazing!!!

A meme in the form of a comic strip showing different scenes from the movie Harry Potter, with Bellatrix speaking with a person in an interview and about how Sirius has matured. At the bottom is a line that says "trummy.co".

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

Heroin Monkey

A man, Jeffrey Epstein, smiles at the viewer. In the background are two women. The text overlay says: "I asked Hillary to be my valentines, but she left me hanging."

Heroin Monkey

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

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