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Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon drawing shows two people walking along a path near a field where several sheep are grazing. A sheep in the background is holding a sign that says 'TWO-TIMING BASTARD!'. The first person says in a speech bubble, 'I CAN'T QUITE READ THAT. WHAT'S IT SAY?' The second person responds in a speech bubble 'UH...'

rapboat

Text: THEORY: My father leaving me is a Drake diss. Reason 1: My father left without saying a word or giving a reason, a reference to how Drake sneak disses people with no direct confrontation. Reason 2: My father is a big Rihanna fan, we all know what happened between Rihanna and Drake...

Heroin Monkey

A face with a serious, almost annoyed expression is in focus. The text on top reads: "How I look at the guy using the urinal next to me who just said, 'Where there's rain, there's thunder!' as he farts while pissing."

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two images of a green caterpillar, one showing it from the side, and the other showing it from the front. The text above the images reads: "so what you're saying is.. this lil guy runs japan.." and "This is the Japanese Emperor Caterpillar."

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a split frame. The top half features Indiana Jones looking slightly annoyed. The bottom half shows a Nokia phone with hieroglyphs engraved on it. The text says: "Not saying your mom has an old phone but..."

Anonymous

A picture shows Leonardo DiCaprio looking distressed while holding a glass of wine. Above his head, it reads: "WHEN PEOPLE SAY" and below the picture, it reads: "THEY WILL KEEP THEIR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS"

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tweet warning people not to click a link that supposedly leads to LeBron James nudes, because it's a virus that turns on caps lock.

Anonymous

A man with glasses is looking over his shoulder, next to the text "Don't just stare, say good morning."

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Jazzy💕

A meme featuring two images side-by-side. On the left, Mrs. Doubtfire is smiling and waving goodbye through a window with the text "how I say bye to my friends" above the image. On the right, Mrs. Doubtfire is giving the middle finger through a window with the text "how I say bye to my best friends" above the image.

Heroin Monkey

A list of phrases that are bad to say after ejaculating. The list includes, "Whoopsie-doo, here comes the goo", "It's slime time", "Have some brogurt", "A shot of goo from me to you", "Gonna splurt the 'gurt".

Anonymous

A picture of an engaged or married couple holding hands, overlaid with the text "Say no to homo-erotic wrestling."

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: "I hate it when I say 'suck my dick' and people say 'Oh but you don't have a dick,' you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don't have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant."

shaylie lol

A cartoon image features a person saying it's hot, followed by an image of Homer Simpson looking nervous while trying not to say "so take off all your clothes".

Anonymous

A person is lying on a white bed looking at the camera. Text above the person reads "me after saying 'this is my song' to 50 different songs."

Jazzy💕

A cat is pictured with its mouth open as though it is laughing. The text reads, "Me when I'm alone and the voice in my head says something funny."

Jazzy💕

A meme featuring an image of a person giving the middle finger, with the text overlay "Me" pointing to them. Someone on the left says "Your opinion.", and the meme begins with "When someone says "you can't wear that"."

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