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Shit-post master general

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Who doesn‘t

A skeleton is sitting relaxed on a wooden bench in an outdoor setting. A hand holding a silver pistol is shown in the foreground pointing upwards from the bottom left. Text overlays the image. Top text: ME IN A SHOOTER GAME. Bottom text: PRETENDING I'M DEAD TO KILL THE ENEMY.

A young man wearing a headset is sitting in a gaming chair and holding a bowl with a spoon in it. Text overlay: "Me pretending to get mad at the game after I died on purpose so I could finish my food."

A screenshot of a post that asks, "How do I stop my husband from going "goblin mode" during sex?? My husband says "goblin mode activated" when we start to have sex, growls, and acts like a caveman, and then says "goblin mode off" when we stop, and then pretends to not know what I'm talking about when I ask him about it."

TaylorSwiftBoat

A screenshot of a Reddit post about J. Cole's childhood bedroom. The post text says J. Cole had posters of rappers like Eminem and others he admired, including 'shirtless posters of other men in the rap game he loved.' The image shows J. Cole in his bedroom covered in posters, with red circles highlighting two specific posters, one appearing to be Eminem and another of a shirtless Tupac Shakur. A comment below the post makes a crude joke about the shirtless Tupac poster, suggesting J. Cole might have pretended to breastfeed from it and called it 'drinking GOAT milk.'

A dog stares intently at the camera with the text "The skin walker pretending to be my dog watching me douse my meat in peanut butter."

A meme featuring a close-up image of a monkey with its eyes closed, appearing to be asleep or pretending to sleep. A lollipop or similar object is near its mouth, and it is behind a wire fence. The text above the image reads, "my father rubbing his dick on my face thinking that I'm asleep". Below the image, the text reads, "[I'm pretending]".

Two people in a supermarket aisle. One is looking at an item on the left shelf, while the other is reaching for something on the right. The text above them reads: "Me pretending to need something else at the store until the person moves outta the stuff I actually need."

The image shows text that reads: "yall ever just take a cold shower in the dark on all fours and groan pleasurably pretending you're a wet rhino on the african savannah during the first rain in years."

A meme showing text above an image from the video game Hello Neighbor. The text reads: "Me walking down to the family dinner pretending that I didn't just yell racial slurs to a 10yo over a game:". The image below shows the character known as The Neighbor walking down a staircase in a house. A small instruction in the game UI says "GO DOWNSTAIRS TO KITCHEN". A watermark '@sigma_gorilla' is visible in the bottom left corner.

A person in a red uniform shows a screen with code to a bear walking away in the forest. The text above the image says: "If you meet a bear in the forest, just ask him to review your pull request so he pretends he didn't notice you and goes away".

The image is a four-panel grid. The top left panel shows two boxes of tic-tacs labeled 'fresh orange', and the text 'I pretended tic-tacs were pills/drugs'. The top right shows a jar of wafer sticks, with the text 'and wafer sticks were cigarettes'. The bottom left shows a lineup of Gatorade bottles, with the text 'gatorades was vodka/alcohol'. The bottom right panel shows grape juice being poured into a glass, with the text 'and grape juice was red wine'. The final text on the image reads 'I was just that Badass.'

lol

The meme depicts a person pretending to be asleep on a couch to be left alone by their family. The image shows a man with eyes closed in the left panel and the same man smiling with open eyes in the right panel. The text says, "when you on the couch pretending to be asleep so your family leaves you alone but one of them says something funny."

I did all this

A Minion is standing in front of text that reads: When I Was Younger... - I put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost them. - I slept with all my stuffed animals so none got offended. - I restarted the video game when I knew I was going to lose. - I poured soda into the cap and pretended I was taking shots. Can You Relate?

DADDY sus aka the king

me every day

A cartoon image of Spongebob looking bored, holding a pencil and a notepad. The text on the image says, "When your teacher walks by so you pretend that you're working."

Hollow Knight Beater

Hollow Knight Meme

The image shows two characters from the video game Hollow Knight. One character labeled "My mom" is carrying a shovel and looking down at the other character labeled "Me", who is lying down as if asleep. The text says, "My mom asking for help" and "Me pretending to sleep".