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Shitpost master-general
6 days ago
A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    8 days ago
    A black and white image features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a dark, textured suit, looking directly forward with a serious expression. Overlayed text in yellow reads "HOW TO BECOME A TOP 1% MAN", followed by a bulleted list of absurd advice in white, pink, and green. The list includes: "ONLY P*RN", "10L WATER", "WORKOUT (NO BREAKS) - 3X ARM DAY - 2X LEG DAY - 4X BUTTHOLE DAY", "READ BOOKS", "READ BOOKS AGAIN", "ASSEMBLE UNCLES", "300X DAIRY INTAKE", "12 HOURS GRINDING", "ABSORB DETROIT". A small username "@entopranure" is visible at the top.
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 month ago
    The image displays several stacked Google search result windows. The first visible window shows an image of lettuce with the search query 'lettuce pieces - Google Search'. The second shows ham slices with 'ham slices - Google Search'. The third shows a slice of bread with 'slice of bread - Google Search'. The fourth, partially visible, shows the search query 'chinese fart porn - Google Search'.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago
    A screenshot of a video platform resembling YouTube, featuring a video titled "Twink Starts Liking Men After Receiving Heart Transplant From Gay Man". The video is from "DisruptiveFilms" and includes tags like "threesome", "deepthroat", "pounding", "twink", "bareback", "anal", and "tattoos", along with the name "Jared Kent". The video thumbnail shows two shirtless men. Below the video, a comment from user "bkusa" reads: "Nice refreshing story line, actors didn't look like porn stars which was a plus but you made a huge mistake. coming from someone who has had open heart surgery the young man who received the organ shows no incision for the rib cage to be cut down the sternum then spread open so the transplant could happen. Serious make up is missing on this and is the only thing I can think of that would stop a 5 star rating in my opinion."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of a Pornhub comment section. At the top, the Pornhub logo is visible. The first comment, from a user named "C_Julius_Caesar" (who has a verified checkmark), says, "Has anyone ever thought about how weird it is that we like watching porn? I mean, we're the only living animal out of millions who think it's satisfying to watch others have sex..." This comment was posted "2 weeks ago" and has 167 likes. Below it, a reply from a user named "Nsfwpapermario" (posted "Yesterday") reads, "How the fuck you verified as Julius Caesar?" This reply has 5 likes.
  • 0
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A top-down view of six pastel-colored plush dolls, known as Labubu dolls, arranged on a light wooden surface. The dolls have various facial expressions, including smiles, closed eyes, and mischievous grins. An overlay text reads, "I hate this genre of people." Below the image, a comment from 'benkelemete8' is visible, stating, "Y'all low-key sleeping on Labubu porn."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A yellow emoji face with wide, slightly anxious eyes, a wide open mouth, and eyebrows raised in mild confusion. Next to the face, a yellow hand is shown making a gesture where the index and middle fingers are crossed, with curved lines indicating motion. Text below the image reads 'watching gay porn in public but doing this the entire time so people know I'm straight.'. There is a Shutterstock watermark.
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.
  • 0
  • Face mcshooty
    6 months ago

    ethan fr

    A meme showing two characters from Teen Titans with text that says, "ME CATCHING THE MF WHO KEEPS WATCHING FURRY PORN ON MY PC."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    7 months ago
    A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The first user states they have finished watching "The Passion" and are sad and posts a message of hope about Christ's death giving people eternal salvation, accompanied by an image of hands holding bread and a cup with the text "Take this and eat". The second user replied to that message stating that the first user posted rape porn three hours ago.
  • 1
  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Shitpost-master general

    A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet says: "it's so surreal hearing my own voice in Pornhub ads before videos." The second tweet says: "So your the woman interrupting my gay porn" with a picture of Goku below.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    NEWS
Pantless driver dies
after being ejected
through his sunroof
while masturbating
to porn on a
cellphone when the
car crashed and
rolled over
  • 0
  • DaRey1
    1 year ago

    aint no way 💀💀💀

    A man wearing a Spurs jersey is featured in a YouTube video titled "Top 50 Porn Sites" by EatDatPussy445. The video has 227 views and is 2 minutes old. There are sports flags, and a Funko figure, in the background. The word Cardinals is visible on a flag. There is also a flag with "SAN BA" on it.
  • 1
  • tabs1528
    1 year ago
    A multi-panel comic shows a group of men discussing an Overwatch hero, followed by a panel of the hamster character, and a final panel of the men looking shocked. The text in the first panel says: "Ok, we need to make an Overwatch hero people won't use as porn material." The text in the second panel says "Perfect!". The last panel contains the text "10 Seconds Later".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a comment on Pornhub. The comment reads: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your father and I are heartbroken."
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of two comments on Pornhub. The first comment by user 'FunkyMonkey42069' is asking if K-Pop could be a substitute for "Ok Boomer". The second comment by user 'U12937492' says "My guy I'm here to blow my load not my mind."
  • 0
  • Thoughtless
    1 year ago

    WTF is this?

    muffin
18 Sep 2023, 8:52am
i was listening to mcr and my mom walked in so i switched the tab to gay porn cause thats less
embarrasing
Reply 77
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    When the FBI kicks down your door
while you beating your meat to the 500
terabytes of polygender midget furry
austismic monkey porn that you stole
+Kaylie D
My time has come
  • 0
  • Kristian‽
    1 year ago

    for big dave fan

    A man is presenting six plates with different pasta dishes on a table, next to a vertical ranking board. The text says: "What is the most Fuckable Pasta? I Fucked 6 different Pastas to Find Out!" and is presented on a Pornhub interface.
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