Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image contains four screenshots of tweets. The first by Beans After Dark says "british people be like im bri ish". The second by ryan says "british ppl wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys gone n be like 'right. what's all this then?'". The third by quinn says "British people could watch their family be murdered and be like 'hmmm i dont quite fancy that'". The fourth by Caleb says "British people be like 'litchrally'"

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a mockup of a WhatsApp chat interface with Friedrich Engels' picture on the right. The WhatsApp screen shows a conversation with Karl Marx repeatedly messaging "I NEED money". The text above reads "WHAT IF FRIEDRICH ENGELS HAD WHATSAPP" with laughing emojis next to it.

Heroin Monkey

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: "pussy tighter than an aztec clay face mask."

Heroin Monkey

Sarah
Chongalongadong
when you hug a guy and you
smell his colon
11/7/14, 2:36 AM from Queens, NY
tayLORD.
ErykanBaDent
When you can still smell his colon
on your pillows even though he's
not there >>>>>>>>
@RichOrb
I love when I can smell a guy's
colon as he walks by
7/14/14, 10:13 AM
jen
basedgin
Stylish Sweetheart
KAY5wEels
after you hug a boy and you smell
like his colon <33
I smell like his colon now
11/12/14 1:16 PM

Atx_cvpi_99

9/11 sale

Im totally not drunk 2.0

They’re talking abt the Mexican slur 💀

A dark-themed chat with the text: "No, ginger. What even is a uhm, thing with bean in it? Is it like a cult?" The chat is from today at 5:39 PM.

Heroin Monkey

This is so bad

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet is from Caitlyn Jenner, it reads "It's so hard to find a straight man that is confident enough to compliment me on my looks.". The second tweet is a reply from Donald J. Trump, and it reads "Nice balls."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet asks whether Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane, or if he "beat gorilla cheeks." The second tweet is a reply showing a Google search bar with the text "How to delete someone else's tweet."

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a thermostat displaying an error message that reads "Account Terminated. Your behaviour has violated the OJ Family Code of Conduct. Reason: Leaking United States classified documents. This thermostat has been locked." The time on the screen is "Fri 1:30 PM" and the temperature is "-964°C". The text "they done banned me from the thermostat" is overlayed at the bottom.

opal💫

A chart showing the times of the day from 1 am to 12 pm, with a cheese icon next to each of the morning times (am) and a steak icon next to each of the afternoon times (pm).

DAP ME UP

UMM ??? AGREEABLE MUCH.

A screenshot of a Twitter conversation. Charli D'Amelio states "Roblox is trash, I like Fortnite better". The official Roblox account replies "I don't care, Fortnite doesn't want you anyways too..." and someone else says "I couldn't agree more with Roblox. Girl thought she is important".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message conversation with KFC. The first message reads "Hello there's something wrong with my chicken", and an image of an oddly shaped piece of fried chicken is shown. The second message from KFC reads "What the fuck".

Heroin Monkey

A plush rat wearing a chef's hat and apron is holding a wooden spoon. The text on the image reads "hey guys what emotion does this image make you feel?", and there are two chat replies: "lust" and "anyone else".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a Discord message that reads, "Nah but why does your appendix do absolutely nothing and then just try to kill you?"

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads "stop being horny. find jesus @stopthehorny. I am CRYING because people have sex. Please stop." The tweet was posted on April 4, 2021, at 6:02 PM via Twitter for iPhone. It has 737 retweets, 49 quote tweets, and 2,557 likes.

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