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Confession

Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Rosa Parks

Anonymuous · 7 months ago

Still on the back of the bus huh

The back of a city bus features a wrap-around advertisement with a portrait of Rosa Parks and the text "HONORING ROSA PARKS". Above the ad, the word "max" is printed twice.

Friend

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A person wearing a black long-sleeve shirt and khaki shorts stands on the street leaning forward in a stiff, slumped posture often referred to as the 'fent fold.' Cars are visible in the background in an urban street parking setting. White text overlaid on the image reads: 'Hitting the fent fold so I can save my friend a parking spot.'

Music

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A young man, recognized as Brick Heck from "The Middle," stands against a white background with his hands on his hips and a slightly awkward smile. He is wearing a red and blue striped t-shirt and grey pants. Overlayed text in white with a black outline reads, "yo bro, put on some linkin park".

World Trade Center

Willy b · 11 months ago

An image of the World Trade Center towers during the 9/11 attacks, depicting a large fiery explosion emanating from one tower and smoke rising from both. The text "indoor parking isn't working huh" is overlaid at the top of the image.

Writer

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A bearded man is writing in a notebook. Above him is text that says, "SCP writers writing an entry about a parking meter that causes the balls of everyone in a 200 meter radius to explode."

Attack

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An explosion is shown in the twin towers. A caption below it reads, "Worst Parking Jobs - RANKED".

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Purpose

Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

A person walks down a path where many ducks are gathered. The text overlay says, "I found my purpose in life. Duck King!"

Devil

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A photo shows a man in the foreground in a park with a child sitting on a bench in the background. The text on the image reads, "bout to hit the most devious lick" with three devil emojis.

Circumcision

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a YouTube video featuring Michael Stevens from Vsauce. The video title reads 'I got sued for circumcising random boys in the park.'

Fleshlight

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A sign that reads: "www.bridgewatercurlingclub.com. You think you can hurt my feelings. I used to hold the fleshlight for my dad."

Bio

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

wait did caley date ashton this is her uwu crew bio

Excuse

RapBoat · 2 years ago

A man sits alone on a swing set in a park. Text at the top reads "Drake bringing Adonis to the park to have an excuse to watch the other kids playing on the jungle gym:".

Woman

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A vintage comic book cover shows a car flying through the air with a woman driving. A man on the sidewalk exclaims: "Watch out, mister! It's a woman, and she's trying to parallel park!" A man on a bike says "Son of a..."

Walmart

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a fighter jet, an F/A-18 Hornet, on the deck of an aircraft carrier. A person in yellow directing gear, likely a plane director or 'shooter', is visible in the foreground, guiding the aircraft. The text overlay reads, 'The 6 year old at Walmart directing his morbidly obese mother while she parks her mobility scooter.'

Account

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

Goose

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man in a military uniform with a black beret holding two guns. The text above the man reads "Me on my way to the local park to remind geese that it is man who is made in Gods image."

Feel

Weight Gain · 2 years ago

Fat puro

A black and white drawing of a chubby, furry character. Text at the top says "It... feel strange". The drawing includes the text "T&t @VeygaDarkLatex FA Vesya, the_Park_L".

Relationship

The Unknown King of Moderation · 2 years ago

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

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