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Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

System

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

Food

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a photo of a building labeled "Goth IHOP", with a banner saying "Grand Opening!" The other three panels feature a simple stick-figure drawing. In the first of the three panels, the stick figure sits on a couch, looking sad, and the text says, "where is my food." In the next panel, a goth girl sits on the couch next to the stick figure, and the text reads "i am the food~". In the last panel, the stick figure is sitting at a table with a large pool of blood on it, and the goth girl's head is lying on the table.

Ad

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A screenshot of an online personal ad. The headline reads 'I need a female to fart in my mouth - m4w - 34 (Detroit)'. Below the headline, there is a photo of a man and his age listed as 'age : 34'. The ad text reads: 'I want a big beautiful black lady here in Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just want you to get on the couch and bend over so I can open my mouth wrap my lips around your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long filling up my mouth, while I masturbate.'

Insult

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme showing a scene from SpongeBob SquarePants where SpongeBob and Patrick are replaced with Cheems characters. The yellow Cheems character on the left, representing SpongeBob, looks angry at the pink Cheems character on the right, representing Patrick, who holds a glass jar. The text at the top reads: "YOU INSUFFERABLE RETARD, OPEN THE DAMN LID."

Game

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

In a two-panel cartoon, a white figure labeled "OpenAI" reaches for a white balloon labeled "Dream of beating Google in their own game." In the second panel, a pink figure labeled "Google launches Bard" watches as the OpenAI figure's balloon bursts.

House

RapBoat · 2 years ago

A map view shows a large house. There is a green map pin labeled "Owned by Kendrick". Below the house is a listing that says "DrakesChildChamber, 3.0 stars, kindergarten, open 24 hours."

Door

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

The image shows a four-panel grid of a small child running and making faces. The first two panels show the child running. The bottom two panels show the child's face getting increasingly annoyed. The text on top reads "how i feel when i gotta get up and close the door after someone left it open".

Dentist

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

Like mf how tf am I supposed to talk when my mouth is wide tf open

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick Star is holding Spongebob's mouth open, while Spongebob looks distressed. The text on top of the image reads "Nobody: The dentist: So how's life going".

Heart

IWS/INGEN - COLLAB ACC! · 2 years ago

A man is smiling knowingly and pointing to his head. Text overlaid on the image reads, "No one can break your heart if you don't let them into your life."

Flag

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows different flags the poster saw on their morning walk. These 'flags' are traffic signs: the US flag times 7, stop sign times 4, danger do not open sign times 13, biohazard sign times 33, a no entry sign times 18, do not open sign times 9, biohazard sign times 6, and danger of infection times 27. Also shown in the image is a nazi flag.

Frog

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person's eye is shown. A text overlay says, "I just noticed your avi looks like a frog trying to hold a elevator open."

Door

Lostin Flowers · 2 years ago

Boeing

The image contains the text "When one door closes, another one opens." - Boeing attributed to Boeing

Money

Blach66.1 · 2 years ago

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

Open

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Ball

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."

Chicken

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A white chicken stands on a skateboard. There is text that says, "I'm outside bitch open the door".

Corner

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Invention

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An advertisement shows a pink rubber device shaped like lips next to a woman who is wearing the same device over her mouth. Below the image, the text reads: "Amazing Inventions Definition.org OPEN".

College

Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

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