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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text overlay stating, "ME POSTING 'RINGS OF POWER IS BETTER THAN THE TRILOGY,' THEN PUTTING MY PHONE ON VIBRATE AND STICKING IT UP MY ASS." Below the text is a close-up shot of Frodo Baggins from Lord of the Rings, looking up with his eyes rolled back, as if in discomfort or ecstasy.

Heroin Monkey

A pale, humanoid creature with hands raised to the face and eyes in the palms. The text overlay reads "I'm gonna tell my kids this was Mitch McConnell."

Heroin Monkey

A person is shown in the dark. Text says "Me reconstructing my ball sack at 3am with the welder."

Heroin Monkey

3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard is in front of a brown curtain. The text "Five Scientific Reasons To Kill Yourself" is at the bottom. The uploader is "balding science man". Underneath is the text "Published on 9 May 1945, were going off the air after this one forever, hello darkness my old friend".

Heroin Monkey

3:11/7:13
my terrorist attack plan for tomorrow
Osama Bin Laden
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72 virgins
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11

big [fire] balls

A platypus is being held in someone's hand. The text overlay reads: "Ah, yes... I am pleased. Your work has brightened my day. Proceed with accolades and joy!"

big [fire] balls

A man sits at a table outside with a sign saying "Dragonborn are the platypus of Faerun. Change my mind." He is looking towards the camera with a smirk. There is a small ifunny.co label in the bottom right.

big [fire] balls

A cartoon image shows a character with a long nose and a white lab coat and a sinister grin. The text above him says, "Ah Perry the Platypus, you are too late, I have already activated the Inator that makes everyone in the whole world read this in my voice."

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, using characters from the Phineas and Ferb show. The first two panels show Perry the Platypus logging into a new device, first a smartphone, then a laptop. The third panel shows Doofenshmirtz yelling "WHO ARE YOU?!" and the last panel shows Doofenshmirtz saying "Oh good, you're back! Did you know that some hacker just tried to hack your account?"

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

big [fire] balls

rapboat

Text: THEORY: My father leaving me is a Drake diss. Reason 1: My father left without saying a word or giving a reason, a reference to how Drake sneak disses people with no direct confrontation. Reason 2: My father is a big Rihanna fan, we all know what happened between Rihanna and Drake...

Heroin Monkey

A large roll of toilet paper on a stand in a bathroom next to a toilet. The text above the image reads, "Went to my buddy's house and he thought this absolute monster was gonna slip by without further inquiry."

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white image shows a cat wearing a hat and smoking a cigarette. The text overlay asks, "If they find oil in my backyard it belongs to government, but if they find bodies in my backyard it belongs to me??" and also says "(Stay with me now)"

Heroin Monkey

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

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