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When bro calls me so i put
my phone in vibration mode
and shove it up my ass

A shirtless man is sitting on a weight bench. The text says: "TO MY HATERS, KEEP SUCKING. I'M ABOUT TO CUM."

A man stands in front of a mirror in a bathroom and seems to have taken a photo. Text on the image says, "Forgot my phone".

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a close-up of Shrek's face with a knowing and slightly menacing expression. Above the image are the words "A random girl: (Talks to me for 5 seconds) The stare my friends give me:".

We all know what rapper she’s talking about…

A screenshot of a YouTube comment. The user, @devonodevon, writes: I'm a retired 69 year old army vet white grandmother who hates rap and I can't stop listening!! I keep playing this to my grand kids and now they're not speaking to me because THEY CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH and COMMON SENSE. When he appeared as the Jamaican HOOBOY I WOKE UP THE WHOLE STREET LAUGHING!!! GODBLESS AMERICA. There are also like and dislike buttons and a comment button.

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

The image shows a text overlay stating, "ME POSTING 'RINGS OF POWER IS BETTER THAN THE TRILOGY,' THEN PUTTING MY PHONE ON VIBRATE AND STICKING IT UP MY ASS." Below the text is a close-up shot of Frodo Baggins from Lord of the Rings, looking up with his eyes rolled back, as if in discomfort or ecstasy.

A pale, humanoid creature with hands raised to the face and eyes in the palms. The text overlay reads "I'm gonna tell my kids this was Mitch McConnell."

A person is shown in the dark. Text says "Me reconstructing my ball sack at 3am with the welder."

3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
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The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

A man with glasses and a beard is in front of a brown curtain. The text "Five Scientific Reasons To Kill Yourself" is at the bottom. The uploader is "balding science man". Underneath is the text "Published on 9 May 1945, were going off the air after this one forever, hello darkness my old friend".

3:11/7:13
my terrorist attack plan for tomorrow
Osama Bin Laden
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9
11

big [fire] balls

A platypus is being held in someone's hand. The text overlay reads: "Ah, yes... I am pleased. Your work has brightened my day. Proceed with accolades and joy!"

big [fire] balls

A man sits at a table outside with a sign saying "Dragonborn are the platypus of Faerun. Change my mind." He is looking towards the camera with a smirk. There is a small ifunny.co label in the bottom right.

big [fire] balls

A cartoon image shows a character with a long nose and a white lab coat and a sinister grin. The text above him says, "Ah Perry the Platypus, you are too late, I have already activated the Inator that makes everyone in the whole world read this in my voice."

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, using characters from the Phineas and Ferb show. The first two panels show Perry the Platypus logging into a new device, first a smartphone, then a laptop. The third panel shows Doofenshmirtz yelling "WHO ARE YOU?!" and the last panel shows Doofenshmirtz saying "Oh good, you're back! Did you know that some hacker just tried to hack your account?"

big [fire] balls

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

big [fire] balls

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