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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    If only true Americans voted:

    A United States map is displayed with states colored red or blue to represent an election outcome. The legend shows Harris with 31 electoral votes and Trump with 337, suggesting a landslide victory for Trump. The user can select a party, show a toss-up, or a third party and see the state breakdown below.
  • 3
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Guess which one I'm mad about.

    Two muscular arms clasped together in a strong handshake. The arm on the left with light skin is labeled "Modern Songs". The arm on the right with darker skin is labeled "Me Having Sex". In the middle, above the clasp, it is written "Less than 3 minutes."
  • 0
  • M
    Mr.Cheese47
    1 year ago

    cheese

    An image of a creature made from a cracked egg with legs, an eye, and the text "me at 3:00AM heading over to the fridge", "he travels", and "he seeks the parmesan".
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    1 year ago

    ?!?? TRIGGERED MUCH

    The image shows a conversation between a quiet kid and another person. The text reads: QUIET KID: I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND. ME: YEAH, ITS A REALLY NICE SONG. QUIET KID: WHAT SONG?. The background image is a man with a shocked expression.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A man standing in front of a brick wall while gesturing with his hands. The text above him reads: "me, a bricklayer, explaining to my apprentice (holding the camera) how I constructed this beautiful wall."
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    1 year ago
    A baby sits in a high chair, completely covered in food, which appears to be spaghetti and sauce. A green divided tray and a blue sippy cup are also visible. The text overlay states, 'He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids.'
  • 1
  • TaylorSwiftBoat
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a Reddit post about J. Cole's childhood bedroom. The post text says J. Cole had posters of rappers like Eminem and others he admired, including 'shirtless posters of other men in the rap game he loved.' The image shows J. Cole in his bedroom covered in posters, with red circles highlighting two specific posters, one appearing to be Eminem and another of a shirtless Tupac Shakur. A comment below the post makes a crude joke about the shirtless Tupac poster, suggesting J. Cole might have pretended to breastfeed from it and called it 'drinking GOAT milk.'
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A digital painting depicting a man lying wounded on the ground in front of a burning landscape with a medieval castle in the background. The text above reads: "6 year old me after trying my parents toothpaste instead of my strawberry rainbow unicorn toothpaste."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    Two tweets are shown. The top tweet from Jon Favreau says: "Stop sending me pilots for your Star Wars series idea. I'm not that @Jon_Favreau." The second tweet from Jeffrey R. Epstein says: "I feel your pain."
  • 0
  • United Kingdom UK
    1 year ago
    The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows Spongebob looking scared with the caption "Me when my parents are sleeping." The bottom panel shows three black silhouette figures dancing on a colorful, lighted dance floor. The text above them says, "they're groovin'" and the caption to the right of the image reads "My parents when I'm sleeping."
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    1 year ago

    Rate my daily schedule

    The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A baby hippo is being held by a person. The text on the image says: "Me being removed from the McDonald's playground after eating the other children for 12 hours."
  • 0
  • Raptor
    1 year ago

    Pure law-abiding citizen.

    A person wearing a black balaclava and gloves is holding a gun in one hand and a book labeled "LAW" in the other. The text above reads: "HOLD ON GUYS," and the text below reads: "LET ME CHECK THE GUN LAWS FIRST".
  • 3
  • Raptor
    1 year ago
    A man, presumably Tony Soprano, is standing in front of a grill with a lit cigar in his mouth and a box of matches in his hand. The text above the image says: "Me asking everyone how they like their burger before I cook them all exactly the same."
  • 0
  • mike69
    1 year ago

    perfection

    The image is a three-panel comparison. The first panel shows an X-Men cartoon series cover and the text "show me a unskippable marvel intro" next to a photo of actor Michael Fassbender. The second panel displays a Marvel Avengers movie poster next to a picture of Michael Fassbender with the text "I said unskippable marvel intro." The third panel has the cover of a cartoon series of the Avengers, and next to it is the same image of Michael Fassbender with the text "perfection".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A man is pouring olive oil on a salad from a very large bottle. Above the bottle, the text reads "The existence of the spiderverse means there's a Spiderman who shoots webs from his penis." Above the man's head, the word 'me' appears. At the bottom, 'a normal conversation'.
  • 0
  • Swf
    1 year ago
    A note asking Katie to go to prom with options "yes" or "definitely yes", followed by a video of three dancing skeletons. The text on the video says "Katie didn't hold back".
  • 2
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