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Parody

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

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Diary entry

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

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Infidelity

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

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ME

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

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Snitch

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

Lamp

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."

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Vote

Anonymous · 1 year ago

If only true Americans voted:

A United States map is displayed with states colored red or blue to represent an election outcome. The legend shows Harris with 31 electoral votes and Trump with 337, suggesting a landslide victory for Trump. The user can select a party, show a toss-up, or a third party and see the state breakdown below.

Song

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Guess which one I'm mad about.

Two muscular arms clasped together in a strong handshake. The arm on the left with light skin is labeled "Modern Songs". The arm on the right with darker skin is labeled "Me Having Sex". In the middle, above the clasp, it is written "Less than 3 minutes."

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Fridge

Mr.Cheese47 · 1 year ago

cheese

An image of a creature made from a cracked egg with legs, an eye, and the text "me at 3:00AM heading over to the fridge", "he travels", and "he seeks the parmesan".

Murder

DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

?!?? TRIGGERED MUCH

The image shows a conversation between a quiet kid and another person. The text reads: QUIET KID: I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND. ME: YEAH, ITS A REALLY NICE SONG. QUIET KID: WHAT SONG?. The background image is a man with a shocked expression.

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Camera

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man standing in front of a brick wall while gesturing with his hands. The text above him reads: "me, a bricklayer, explaining to my apprentice (holding the camera) how I constructed this beautiful wall."

Baby

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A baby sits in a high chair, completely covered in food, which appears to be spaghetti and sauce. A green divided tray and a blue sippy cup are also visible. The text overlay states, 'He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids.'

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J. Cole

TaylorSwiftBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post about J. Cole's childhood bedroom. The post text says J. Cole had posters of rappers like Eminem and others he admired, including 'shirtless posters of other men in the rap game he loved.' The image shows J. Cole in his bedroom covered in posters, with red circles highlighting two specific posters, one appearing to be Eminem and another of a shirtless Tupac Shakur. A comment below the post makes a crude joke about the shirtless Tupac poster, suggesting J. Cole might have pretended to breastfeed from it and called it 'drinking GOAT milk.'

Toothpaste

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A digital painting depicting a man lying wounded on the ground in front of a burning landscape with a medieval castle in the background. The text above reads: "6 year old me after trying my parents toothpaste instead of my strawberry rainbow unicorn toothpaste."

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Pilot

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Two tweets are shown. The top tweet from Jon Favreau says: "Stop sending me pilots for your Star Wars series idea. I'm not that @Jon_Favreau." The second tweet from Jeffrey R. Epstein says: "I feel your pain."

Parent

United Kingdom UK · 1 year ago

The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows Spongebob looking scared with the caption "Me when my parents are sleeping." The bottom panel shows three black silhouette figures dancing on a colorful, lighted dance floor. The text above them says, "they're groovin'" and the caption to the right of the image reads "My parents when I'm sleeping."

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Schedule

DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

Rate my daily schedule

The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."

Weed

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Playground

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A baby hippo is being held by a person. The text on the image says: "Me being removed from the McDonald's playground after eating the other children for 12 hours."

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