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Rule

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, two figures are depicted. One on the left with a turban states three rules: "no wishing for death", "no falling in love", and "no bring back dead people." In the second panel, the same turbaned figure states, "There are 4 rules" while the other figure says, "I want my rifle to moan when I load a new mag."

Prank

LoserIsPro · 3 years ago

The image shows four panels, each with a different reaction to a prank. The first panel shows the teacher, the second shows the smart kid who just wanted to learn, the third shows the friends, and the fourth shows the prankster. The text reads: "Teacher: How do I turn up the volume? Me: Press alt + f4. Teacher:*gets disconnected*. Teacher. The smart kid who just wanted to learn. My friends. The rest of the class. Me. They love me."

Step

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Spotify playlist titled "how to fall down a staircase." The playlist includes songs titled: "Step 1 (with Offset)," "Step 2," "Step 5," "Step 8," "Step 13," "Step 25," and "Floor."

Hannah

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A poster with a picture of a woman named Hannah. The text reads: "Hannah microwaves butterflies in her spare time. #LoveYourImperfections Get 3 days free at match.com/tube match". The poster is in a subway or similar setting. Above the poster, it says: "what the fuck Hannah".

Turkey

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."

Holy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

#1 BEST ALPHA MALE PICKUP LINE

A lion with a dark blue hue is roaring with lightning in the background. The text on the image reads "Holy moly, I'd love to put my poley in your holy."

Dog

Why should you care · 1 year ago

God is you... If you have a dog

A golden retriever puppy is sitting and looking up at the camera. The puppy has a cute expression. The puppy's feet are not in view. Two gray slippers are visible at the bottom of the image. The text says, "I taught Luna to sit. She was SO thrilled with the praise she got, that now, every time I turn around this is what I see. My heart!!!"

Loss

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 · 3 years ago

saddest youtube comment :(

A text-based image displaying a story in a format similar to a forum post. It starts with the user detailing an event from when they were younger where their mom and sister had gone out to get groceries, and they were doing chores. While doing chores, they watched the news and saw a report of a local woman and daughter getting killed in a car accident. They then write about finding a note from their mom telling them they could play their game console before she came back. The post ends with them mentioning she never came home.

Crush

Inessa :) · 3 years ago

My recent tabs

Racism

K!ttyy · 6 months ago

Love the things I talk about

A screenshot of a messaging app conversation. One user asks, "why are you teaching me racial slurs?" and the other replies, "Why not". The first user then sends a string of messages: "cause im not racist", "i mean", "i do say the n word alot", "and make fun of mexicans", "and i really hate the yellow people", "and most jews suck", "but im not racist".

Heart

Rylee ੈ♡˳ · 2 years ago

a heart to make ur day better :D

Two cats standing next to each other with their tails forming a heart shape.

Pee

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · 3 years ago

Defenity peeing with an erection

A poll comparing the difficulty of peeing with an erection versus giving birth. 92% of the votes went to peeing with an erection. Below this, a picture of Palpatine saying "I love democracy."

Carpet

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man looking upset is pictured above a comment that reads: "I have your face on a carpet and I like to strip naked and cover myself in honey and roll around on the carpet until I pee (love your bellybutton)." Text over the man reads: "Bro leave this man alone."

Stalin

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A drawing of Joseph Stalin on a pink card with the text "QUIT STALIN AND BE MY VALENTINE", "Happy Valentine's Day", and "Love: MAP, Stalin, and also Benkling."

Relationship

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A painting of Romeo and Juliet on a balcony, with text on the right side. The text reads: 'Romeo & Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13yr old and a 17yr old that caused 6 deaths. Sincerely, Everyone Who Actually Read It.'

Guy

Chri5 · 3 years ago

This is the guy in your room at night

A close-up of a man's face with wide eyes and a big smile. The text on the image says: "Running up the basement stairs again? I love a good race."

Nissan

what’s dudeese · 3 months ago

A comic strip with two panels. In the first panel, an anime girl with hearts around her yells 'Nii-san! Hey! Nii-San!'. In the second panel, she is blushing and hugging the front of a black Nissan truck, saying 'I love you Nii-san...'. Below the comic is a social media interface showing 70,331 likes and a fake comment from the verified Nissan account that says 'kill yourself'.

Islam

Willy b · 19 days ago

A two-panel image showing Ariana Grande smiling on stage with the text 'Islam is Love!' in the top panel, followed by the Side-Eyeing Chloe girl looking skeptical in her car seat in the bottom panel with the text 'Yeah, if you're a goat!'

Valentine

Wade · 2 years ago

Mine is better than all of yours

A cartoon image of Deadpool holding a bloody heart with the speech bubble, “MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU!” and below “HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY”

self-deprecation

Wade · 2 years ago

A four-panel comic strip. Panel 1 shows a priest in a church saying, "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF" to a congregation, including a blonde woman. Panel 2 shows the blonde woman outside saying, "HELLO NEIGHBOR" to a man getting out of his car. Panel 3 shows the man responding, "YOU FUCKING MORON". Panel 4 shows the man continuing, "YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HUMAN SHIT". The text below indicates the source: "BY EXTRA FABULOUS COMICS FOR Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net."

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