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Infidelity

122 views · Heroin Monkey · 15 days ago

this MIGHT be cosmos phone

A smartphone home screen with a galaxy background is filled with icons for apps like McDonald's, Hebrew Calendar, Hineni, Drops, Am Hazak, Jewish Prayer, NemoHebrew, Mossad baba, Israel News, Newsrael, MTAFC, Smashing Life, JVL, Revayah, Jewish Music +, Jewish Holidays, Bless Up, Trump's Empire, and American. A notification banner at the top from "MY LOVEE ❤️❤️❤️" says "She's busy rn bro 👊 😎". A large red arrow points to the notification. Overlay text reads "why does my gf text me in third person?".

Friendship

58 views · Heroin Monkey · 29 days ago

A screenshot of a text message thread. The interaction starts with friendly greetings from one side, met with hostility from the other. After User 1 claims they will be "best friends forever" with a picture of NBA player Jayson Tatum, User 2 reveals the dark and absurd reason for their anger: User 1 allegedly assaulted User 2's parrot.

Racism

259 views · K!ttyy · 2 months ago

Love the things I talk about

A screenshot of a messaging app conversation. One user asks, "why are you teaching me racial slurs?" and the other replies, "Why not". The first user then sends a string of messages: "cause im not racist", "i mean", "i do say the n word alot", "and make fun of mexicans", "and i really hate the yellow people", "and most jews suck", "but im not racist".

Puppy

135 views · K!ttyy · 2 months ago

reddit ts

Map

55 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from 'Terrible Maps' quoting 'Michigan Storm Chasers'. The text from Michigan Storm Chasers says: 'We've received numerous complaints over the last several months regarding what cities we use on our forecast graphics. We hear you. To ensure we cover everyone's complaints, we've added every city in Michigan to our forecast template going forward'. Below is a map of Michigan completely obscured by hundreds of overlapping white labels for every city name, making the map itself illegible.

Text message

158 views · Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A screenshot of an iMessage conversation. The first bubble in pink says, "Uhh idk, I listen to alot of Charlie xcx". The next bubbles, in dark gray, are from the second person. They reply: "Haha.. thats cool.. i listen to.. XXXtentacion..." followed by, "Its just... women.. have done me.. wrong all my.. life..." and then, "Keep ignoring.. me.. ill remember...". Below this is an attached image: a crude drawing on lined paper featuring a simple cartoon head (resembling Bart Simpson) surrounded by broken hearts, with the large handwritten text: "FUCK LOVE". The final message says, "Just drew... this rn...".

Jazz

93 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit comment thread. The first user, Deathcu..., writes a chaotic, rambling paragraph about Charlie Parker only playing scales, interspersed with repetitive exclamations about loving cigarettes, heroin, and tobacco. The second user, BionicTorqueWrench, replies with a simple correction: "Bro, Parker played arpeggios."

Jazz

97 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A meme supreme

A shopping cart is filled with three vinyl copies of John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme", a box of white Monster Energy drinks, and a bag of Chile Limón Doritos. A text box at the top says "I'm getting so fucked up tonight".

Autism

127 views · Cosmo idk · 3 months ago

A billboard against a purple and pink cloudy sky with text that reads: "THIS IS YOUR SIGN! TELL AN AUTISTIC PERSON 'I LOVE YOU!'" followed by the social media handle "@ALLAROUNDARIELLE".

Cthulhu

87 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A two-panel meme featuring the Doge and Cheems characters. The top panel shows Doge wearing a captain's hat, saying, 'Oh boy I sure do love being a captain of this boat in the middle of Pacific.' The bottom panel features a green, tentacled Cheems character (a parody of Cthulhu) rising out of a stormy sea under a full moon, with the text 'Chtumlu'.

Cracker

75 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A picture of the iconic Cracker Barrel triangular peg game featuring a wooden board and plastic golf tees. Text is overlaid on the image saying "THE CRACKER BARREL PEG GAME FANDOM IS DYING" at the top and "REPOST IF YOU LOVE PEGGING" at the bottom, with the words "REPOST IF" appearing over a black bar.

Captain

75 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A two-panel image. The top panel features a Doge wearing a captain's hat inside a wooden ship cabin with the text: "Oh boy I sure do love being a captain of this boat in the middle of Pacific." The bottom panel shows a green Cheems character with tentacles on its face and wings, standing in a dark, stormy sea under a full moon, with the text: "Chtumlu".

Bussy

108 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A black and white manga panel depicts a young character, likely male, with messy hair and tear-streaked cheeks, looking distressed and crying. Large white text overlays the image, reading: "IM SORRY FOR HAVING A PUFFY PINK LOVE-TUNNEL-3000 SQUEAKY CLEAN GORILLA GRIP BUSSY I DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE".

Tree

66 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. Panel 1 shows a stick figure with a Trollface smiling next to a stylized tree with a white trunk covered in eyes. Text below the figure: "what a nice tree". Panel 2 shows the same figure and tree. Text below the figure: "I love trees". Panel 3 is a black and white/blue photo close-up of a real tree trunk with numerous eye-like markings (lenticels). Panel 4 shows only the stylized tree with eyes, and a pool of blood is visible on the ground below its trunk.

Reference

34 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A close-up photograph of a small, spotted deer (fawn) eating green leaves and pink flowers from a vase on a piece of furniture. White text overlay reads: 'I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups'.

App

40 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

Spongebob

26 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A cartoon image of Spongebob Squarepants looking at a red machine. The machine displays two red hearts and the word "Tota" above them.

T-shirt

98 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

An older man with white hair smiles while pushing a shopping cart in a store. He wears a black t-shirt that says 'I love GOONING' with a red heart symbol made of two shaking hands. Text overlaid on the image reads: 'My guy can not be wearing ts in public 😭'.

Restraint

40 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Online comment

54 views · RapBoat · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

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