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Worst Jokes Ever

I Memes

Heroin Monkey

A meme featuring a portrait of John F. Kennedy next to a block of text that reads: "I'm over here stroking my dick. I got lotion on my dick. Rn, I'm just stroking my shit. I'm horny as fuck man. - John F. Kennedy"

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tweet from NATO that says "@NATO blocked you. You are blocked from following @NATO and viewing @NATO's Tweets". The text above the screenshot reads "Me, hungover: I don't remember what happened last night. Last night:".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Heroin Monkey

A person is holding a phone. The phone displays a text conversation with the messages "I need you to be aggressive with me", "I need a moment", "Like almost beat me up and then cuddle hug and love me", "Choke me", "So hot" and "Need you". Above the phone is the word "Bro.....".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a 2-part meme. The top part is a screenshot of an article from The Guardian with the title "Should gamers be accountable for in-game war crimes?" and a picture of soldiers. The bottom part shows three wolves with a smiling expression. The wolf on the left is labeled "Actual lawyers", the middle wolf is labeled "The Guardian" and the right wolf is labeled "People with an IQ above room temperature".

Heroin Monkey

A woman is lying in bed looking annoyed. Next to her is a giant egg. The text above the image reads: "Her: he's probably thinking about other girls... Him: I am egg". There is a Twitter account name of @DennysDiner above the text.

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Heroin Monkey

A man is shown falling from a tall building. The text reads "*pauses* *zooms in* my name is bob and you might be wondering how i got myself into this situation."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows four items: a brownie, two chocolate cupcakes, two twinkies, and a book cover of "The Communist Manifesto". The text reads "I loved finding these in my lunchbox" and "THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO KARL MARX AND FRIEDRICH ENGELS".

Heroin Monkey

A photo of a white wall with equations spray-painted on it in red. There is a drawing of a small red figure holding a lollipop above the equations. Below the wall is a graph with a circle and three lines, matching the equations above. The text on the wall reads: f(x)=2+√(-(x-2)²)+1, g(x)=2-√(-(x-2)²)+1, h(x)=3x-3, i(x)=-3x+9, j(x)=0.2x+1.7.

Face mcshooty

A man with a serious expression is shown above the text "How I feel giving mental health advice knowing I go insane at least once a week."

Face mcshooty

A screen capture of an online post with Spongebob looking sad in the background and the text: "It's always 'goodnight' but never 'do you want a titty pic before I go to bed?'"

rapboat

I can DEFINITELY relate

The image shows a list titled "7 Signs You're Getting Better At Rapping." Next to it is a drawing of a light-skinned man with a serious expression pointing his finger directly at the viewer. Below the list is "HOW TO RAP @HOWTORAPNATION"

DIANEE

I have a spoon

The image shows a soldier in a helmet and gas mask holding a spoon up in the air. Text on the image reads: "I have a spoon. Your argument is invalid."

Lustlos from Sw

A tweet by derek guy @dieworkwear that reads: "i honestly dont know how rich ppl end up committing crimes. if i had even $500K, i would live so peacefully, mind my own business, wear my little outfits, and just feed birds."

YumMan

Explain Bear i hate you

The image is a comic strip. In the first panel, a group sits around a table and one says, "How do we get rid of Explain Bear?" The second panel shows three responses: "Burn him", "Eat him", and "We don't." The final panel shows the "We don't" guy smirking while someone is thrown out of a building window.

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A blue wire cage with colorful plastic tunnels and accessories, against a white background. Text overlay reads "if i had a boyfriend i'd put him in here."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

ingenious! AND LEO!

A smiling man with cat ear filter and heart glasses is pointing toward the camera, captioned "My Chinese friend:".

Heroin Monkey

A cake with a white glaze is shown next to screenshots of comments on social media. The top comment reads "made a cake and elton john farted on it wtf" and the bottom comment reads "i literally dgaf".

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a person lying in bed with their cat. They are holding a Nintendo Switch in front of the cat's face, displaying a video game. The lower part of the image contains text from a message board, including the lines: "Long term gf and I just broke up. This is the best way I know to mend a broken heart." And a comment with an image of Pepe the Frog saying: ">framed picture of a fucking fan, Why do Americans do weird shit like this?"

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