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Family

Shit-post master general · 11 months ago

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Injury

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

An advertisement for injury law is displayed inside a subway car. The ad features a smiling man in a suit on the left and a slogan that reads "IT'S AMAZING HOW A BIG FAT C CK CAN EASE THE PAIN." A vertical metal pole partially obscures the word "CHECK", making it appear as a vulgar word. Below the main text, a phone number "800 PAIN-LAW" is visible. On the subway doors below the ad, there are signs that say "Do not hold doors". A person's head is partially visible at the bottom right corner.

Lightsaber

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

Weight Loss

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A tweet from user @papiko_114514 on a dark background. The tweet reads: "It's unfair how easy it is for men to diet 😡😡. Masturbate ↓ About 2g of semen come out ↓ Masturbate 500 times per day ↓ Lose 1kg. Wouldn't you lose 10kg if you'd continue this for 10 days??? 😡😡". Below the tweet, it says "3:55 PM · 2019/02/13 · Twitter for iPhone".

Doctor

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A WhatsApp chat screenshot. On the right, a message from 'Doctor' says 'Hi Doctor' at 4:25 AM. On the left, a user replies 'Hi' at 4:25 AM. The user then sends an image of an illegible black scribble on a light background and asks 'how to read this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'It's paracetamol' at 4:26 AM. The user then sends a second image, also an illegible black scribble, and asks 'how about this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'amoxicillin... 3x a day' at 4:27 AM.

Player

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A meme featuring an annoyed-looking, anthropomorphic caterpillar with large blue eyes and a cigarette hanging from its mouth, exhaling smoke. It is perched on a branch. Above the caterpillar, white text on a black background reads: "How Mario Kart Players look at you when you press the Gas button to drive instead of using the Japanese shiddle flick glitch that gives you a 0.2 second headstart."

Teacher

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A surreal, cosmic landscape featuring a large, pale, ram-like creature with long horns, tiny wings, and an exceptionally long, pink tongue. The tongue wraps around a small Earth resting on a reddish, volcanic ground with glowing magma pockets. In the background, two dark celestial bodies resembling moons with human faces appear. The text overlaid on the image reads, "how it feels to see your teacher outside of school."

Online comment

RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

American

UK · 1 year ago

A young man with glasses and short brown hair is sitting in front of a red, smoky background, making a smug or slightly smirking face. He is wearing a dark polo shirt and has his hands on a chessboard with pieces arranged. The text above him reads: 'how Americans feel after correcting a Balkan guy who learned English as his 17th language'.

Porn

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Movie

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up photo of actor Don Cheadle, wearing glasses and a dark shirt, looking straight ahead with a serious, almost judgmental expression. Overlayed text reads: "how film majors will look at you when you tell them your favorite movie is fast and furious instead of a 1932 french film about the life of a blade of grass that can only be found in a saudi arabian pawn shop and the british vaults".

Survivorship bias

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image displaying a tweet from "Liberal Hegemony Enjoyer" showing a diagram of a World War II era bomber plane. The plane is covered in numerous red dots, indicating bullet holes in areas like the wings, fuselage, and tail, but not critical areas like the engine or cockpit. Below this, there is another tweet from "John Rich" which reads: "I have yet to meet someone who regrets being unvaccinated. How about you?"

Dhar mann

Anonymous · 1 year ago

When did Dhar mann joined organization 13???

A YouTube screenshot. The top half shows a video thumbnail titled "BULLIED NERD NEW MAKEOVER SHOCKS SCHOOL" featuring a young man with glasses, a bow tie, and red blotches on his face. Below the title, the creator "Dhar Mann" is visible. The bottom half displays the video's description, specifically a cast list. Listed are character roles and their actors, such as "Noah - Jimmy Pierce" and "Friend 4 - Casey Roxas". Overlaid on the bottom right of the screenshot is an image of the character Roxas from the Kingdom Hearts video game series, wearing a black coat and holding two Keyblades. An arrow points from Roxas to the text "Friend 4 - Casey Roxas" in the cast list.

Chat

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Question

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up selfie of an older man with glasses and a beard, looking directly at the camera with a serious or confused expression. Above his head, a white text box from a social media 'Questions' feature asks, 'Do you know how to twerk?'

Comeback

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A cartoon panel titled 'HOW TO DEAL WITH A BULLY.' A large bully wearing a yellow jersey confronts a smaller, bespectacled nerd with a red backpack. Two other boys stand behind the bully. The bully says, "HEY, NERD— I KISSED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!" The nerd responds, "HOW DID MY CUM TASTE?"

Thought

Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 1 year ago

A two-panel meme using the Buff Doge vs. Cheems format. The top panel shows two muscular Doge characters in military helmets holding rifles, facing a smaller Cheems character wearing a conical hat and holding a smaller rifle. Text above reads "how i thought vietnam war happened" and text below the Doges reads "stupid farmer thinking he can win". The bottom panel shows several smaller Cheems characters with rifles positioned strategically in dense jungle foliage, surrounding a few smaller Doge characters with rifles who appear to be retreating. Text above reads "how it really happened" and text below the Doges reads "shit they set us up retreat".

Time

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An illustration of the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland wearing a blue coat and holding a pocket watch. The text overlay reads: How mfs feel after saying "a quarter till 8" instead of 7:75💔

Misunderstanding

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message from the right is 'how tight'. The response from the left is 'Loose.' followed by 'Poop just falls out'. The message from the right is 'bruh i meant how tight r we'. The response from the left is 'Oh' followed by 'We chill'. The final message from the right is 'alr'.

Veteran

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A meme featuring an elderly man wearing glasses and a cap, sitting in a chair. He is looking forward with his mouth slightly open. Around him are three Minions and two red heart emojis. The top text reads "A NAKED GIRL WILL GET SEND 500 DICK PICS". The bottom text reads "LETS SEE HOW MANY OUR VETERANS CAN GET".

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