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Shitpost-master general

A meme featuring a couple lying in bed. The woman is thinking that her partner is clueless about her infidelity with his best friend. The man wonders why she tastes like Steve's dick.

A still from Sesame Street shows Ernie and Bert standing next to a snowman. In the bottom of the image, overlaid on a black background, are the words: "You can still hear her heart beat!" Ernie said. It wasn't until spring that the hooker's dead body would show up on the playground.

A still from a Star Wars movie. Darth Vader in the background and in the foreground another character. There is text above them: "We gonna fight when I see you." Below Darth Vader the text says "Me (I don't understand flirting)" and next to the other figure the word "Her".

A screenshot from Toy Story features Woody's face with a shocked expression and slightly open mouth. Text at the top reads: "Me giving my granny with dementia astronomical backshots after she thought I was her long dead husband."

awww

A cat is looking forward, holding a leaf in its mouth. Text on the image reads: She was constantly staying near the fish market and watching people come to buy fish. She took a leaf that fell from the tree and came to the owner. On the first day, surprised, he took her "money" and gave her a fish. From that day on, every morning she comes with a leaf to "buy" fish.

A couple is lying in bed. The text on top reads: "Her: He's probably thinking about other women..." Underneath is written "Him: Who the hell is taking pictures of me and my wife in bed."

Why should you care

The image shows two side-by-side photos. The left one shows a cartoon of a bee with wide eyes looking directly at the viewer, and above it is written, 'what my cat sees when she opens her eyes midnap'. The right image is a cat mostly submerged in the snow, only part of its head and tail visible. Above this photo is written, 'me trying to get through life'.

Why should you care

this is me

The image features a still from the movie Anchorman, showing Ron Burgundy, played by Will Ferrell, sitting at a desk in a blue suit with a striped tie, holding a beer bottle. The text in white font above and below him reads: 'LET'S BE HONEST. HOMESCHOOLING MY KID IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER WEIRD. I'M HER MOTHER... SHE WAS DOOMED FROM THE START.'

The image displays a comparison of outfits for a first date. On the left, labeled "Her:" is a pink top, black shorts, white shoes and a black purse. On the right, labeled "Me:" is a black t-shirt with the text "I'M NOT A GYNECOLOGIST BUT I'LL TAKE A LOOK", yellow shorts with beer graphics and red Crocs. The word "Beer" is on the short.

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

POV its late at night and your wife lickes her lips

A close-up image of a dog's face with its mouth open, teeth showing, and one eye squinting. The dog is looking to the side, and its expression appears mischievous.

A man with a sweaty face looking exhausted. The text on the image is: "When u RAW DOGGIN her for 3 hours straight with back to back rounds & she stops *sighs* & says 'Do u think they'll ever find a cure for AIDS?'"

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

The image shows a cartoon of Tom the cat sitting in a green chair and looking at a newspaper with a suspicious look. Above him, it says: "Rapper's gf listening to him sing about cheating on her with her friend."

A screenshot of a Reddit post in the r/future subreddit. The post title reads 'Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up fucking his bitch'. The post text details how the author took revenge on a friend by sleeping with the friend's girlfriend after the friend called Future's new album 'mid'. The author states they don't feel bad about it.

A child's worksheet with a drawing of two characters. The one on the left is yelling, 'You broke my toy!' Red laser beams are coming from their eyes, while 'pee' and 'fart' are labeled next to their legs. The character on the right has laser beams coming from their eyes as well and says 'Homander, F*** I want' in their speech bubble. The worksheet is titled 'Making Up' by Aiden.

A school portrait of a young man with short brown hair, wearing glasses and braces, and a grey t-shirt with an American flag design. He smiles slightly at the camera. Text in large white capital letters above and below him reads, 'SEND THIS TO HER IF YOU MISS THAT HEAD.' A small watermark '@degenerategamblerr' is visible on the right side.

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