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Relationship

8 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
A cartoon image shows Katy Perry, wearing a wedding veil and green dress, and Elmo, a red muppet, standing in front of a cartoon building. The text above reads: "Katy: 'Men must learn to like a woman for her personality, not her body.' Elmo: 'Would you-' Katy: 'No, you're too short.'"
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  • Communism

    4 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago
    The image shows a person with yellow skin and a green shirt pointing with their left hand at an anime girl. A text box says, "Don't look at her, she is temporary, communism is forever!" and below is the communist hammer and sickle in a red circle.
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  • Walmart

    4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a fighter jet, an F/A-18 Hornet, on the deck of an aircraft carrier. A person in yellow directing gear, likely a plane director or 'shooter', is visible in the foreground, guiding the aircraft. The text overlay reads, 'The 6 year old at Walmart directing his morbidly obese mother while she parks her mobility scooter.'
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  • Creature

    4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a grid of six pictures. The first row contains "The girl you like", a young woman smiling, and "Her father", an older man. The second row shows "Her brother", a young man with glasses, and "Her ex", a man with dark hair. The third row is "The creature stalking her for 4 years since the accident that altered her life forever" which is an indistinct figure in a hallway, and finally "You", which is the same image of the creature.
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  • Doll

    2 views · shaylie lol · 2 years ago
    A doll in a pink box looks as if she's just realized she farted. The image contains the text: "She looks like she farted in the box and it finally hit her."
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  • Actress

    1,401 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The meme shows a headline and accompanying images of actress Elizabeth Hurley, stating that she performed a lesbian sex scene directed by her own son. Below this text is a reaction image of an angry piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal with the text "what the cinnamon toast fuck is this".
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  • Pill

    4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    An image depicts three children sitting around a table that's covered with various pills. The text above them reads: "grandma is dead so lets eat all of her pills". One of the children also has a text bubble saying: "She Won't Be Needing Those Anymore!"
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  • Prank

    1 view · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A picture shows a child with big eyes and a very unhappy face, below the text 'When you act up in class and your teacher start calling your parents but you gave her the number to Pizza Hut.'
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  • Parasite

    7 views · Wade · 2 years ago
    A woman with long dreadlocks and a colorful hat is pictured. The text over her reads: "Claims unborn babies are just parasites, which gives mothers the right to kill them. Doesn't realize that makes her an overgrown parasite."
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  • Shit

    40 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A Capri Sun drink pouch with the text "Damn this shit kinda hydrating." "I NEED her bouncing and moaning on it." and "The Federal Government must fall."
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  • FBI Agent

    3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.
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  • Titanic

    17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*
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  • Her

    26 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
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  • Egg

    5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A woman is lying in bed looking annoyed. Next to her is a giant egg. The text above the image reads: "Her: he's probably thinking about other girls... Him: I am egg". There is a Twitter account name of @DennysDiner above the text.
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  • Year

    81 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.
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  • Girl

    69 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a definition of "dirty chewbacca" and below a cartoon of Skeletor, saying, "Even I'm not into that shit." The text above says: "When a girl is deepthroating you, you pinch her nipples right as you cum. Her scream paired with the warm liquid and dick in her throat will produce a sound similar to chewbacca's growl."
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  • Sister

    13 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a white paper cutout of a figure with a raised hand, taped to a window. The shadow of the cutout is also visible in the dark room.
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  • Disease

    39 views · Chunke Monke · 2 years ago

    it all makes sense now 😮😮😮

    The image has the title "Cooties" followed by a definition. "Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as 'STDs.'" It then gives two examples: "Age 8: 'Ewww... She has cooties, I can't talk to her!'" and "Age 15: 'Ewww... She has herpes, I can't sleep with her!'"
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  • Story

    47 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."
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  • Hannah

    20 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
    A poster with a picture of a woman named Hannah. The text reads: "Hannah microwaves butterflies in her spare time. #LoveYourImperfections Get 3 days free at match.com/tube match". The poster is in a subway or similar setting. Above the poster, it says: "what the fuck Hannah".
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