Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Her Memes

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A meme featuring a couple lying in bed. The woman is thinking that her partner is clueless about her infidelity with his best friend. The man wonders why she tastes like Steve's dick.

Heroin Monkey

A still from Sesame Street shows Ernie and Bert standing next to a snowman. In the bottom of the image, overlaid on a black background, are the words: "You can still hear her heart beat!" Ernie said. It wasn't until spring that the hooker's dead body would show up on the playground.

Heroin Monkey

A still from a Star Wars movie. Darth Vader in the background and in the foreground another character. There is text above them: "We gonna fight when I see you." Below Darth Vader the text says "Me (I don't understand flirting)" and next to the other figure the word "Her".

Face mc shooty

A screenshot from Toy Story features Woody's face with a shocked expression and slightly open mouth. Text at the top reads: "Me giving my granny with dementia astronomical backshots after she thought I was her long dead husband."

Adolf kitler

awww

A cat is looking forward, holding a leaf in its mouth. Text on the image reads: She was constantly staying near the fish market and watching people come to buy fish. She took a leaf that fell from the tree and came to the owner. On the first day, surprised, he took her "money" and gave her a fish. From that day on, every morning she comes with a leaf to "buy" fish.

Thoughtless

A couple is lying in bed. The text on top reads: "Her: He's probably thinking about other women..." Underneath is written "Him: Who the hell is taking pictures of me and my wife in bed."

Why should you care

The image shows two side-by-side photos. The left one shows a cartoon of a bee with wide eyes looking directly at the viewer, and above it is written, 'what my cat sees when she opens her eyes midnap'. The right image is a cat mostly submerged in the snow, only part of its head and tail visible. Above this photo is written, 'me trying to get through life'.

Why should you care

this is me

LET'S BE HONEST HOMESCHOOLING MY
KID IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER WEIRD.
I'M HER MOTHER...SHE WAS
DOOMED FROM THE START.
makeameme.org

Heroin Monkey

The image displays a comparison of outfits for a first date. On the left, labeled "Her:" is a pink top, black shorts, white shoes and a black purse. On the right, labeled "Me:" is a black t-shirt with the text "I'M NOT A GYNECOLOGIST BUT I'LL TAKE A LOOK", yellow shorts with beer graphics and red Crocs. The word "Beer" is on the short.

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Anonymous

POV its late at night and your wife lickes her lips

A close-up image of a dog's face with its mouth open, teeth showing, and one eye squinting. The dog is looking to the side, and its expression appears mischievous.

MEME LORD

A man with a sweaty face looking exhausted. The text on the image is: "When u RAW DOGGIN her for 3 hours straight with back to back rounds & she stops *sighs* & says 'Do u think they'll ever find a cure for AIDS?'"

Heroin Monkey

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a cartoon of Tom the cat sitting in a green chair and looking at a newspaper with a suspicious look. Above him, it says: "Rapper's gf listening to him sing about cheating on her with her friend."

RapBoat Bonus

r/future
2h
Join
Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up
fucking his bitch
Discussion
Literally told him not to talk on my goat like that shit
was 8/10 MINIMUM. Asked his girl to meet up, told her
let's get some Mac Donald's, then she gave me head
ion even feel bad Lmaooo
↑ 88
○ 26
☑☑

Heroin Monkey

A child's worksheet with a drawing of two characters. The one on the left is yelling, 'You broke my toy!' Red laser beams are coming from their eyes, while 'pee' and 'fart' are labeled next to their legs. The character on the right has laser beams coming from their eyes as well and says 'Homander, F*** I want' in their speech bubble. The worksheet is titled 'Making Up' by Aiden.

MEME LORD

SEND THIS TO HER
@degenerategambler
IF YOU MISS THAT HEAD

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