500+ Best Have Memes - Page 18 - Worst Jokes Ever

Script

6 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Have

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Parody

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

Spider

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A close up of a person's face with wide eyes. Text says: "The genie looking at me when I wish for spiders to have wings, be 5x bigger and invisible."

Hunting

2 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

He doesn't have nuts anyway.

The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel depicts a man in hunting attire holding a rifle in a field. The text above reads, "If you think this was bad..." The bottom panel shows a man in a suit gesturing to a shotgun that has a yellow star burst around it and the text below reads "It could have been worse!"

Text

1 view · GG Miller · 3 years ago

I hate when people do this

A Minion dressed up as Wolverine with claws out is looking angrily at the viewer. The text says: "Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my whole text."

Professor

1 view · Inessa :) · 3 years ago

A conversation between two people is displayed in a text message format. The first message reads 'You have attachment issues. Please fix it.' The second message reads 'Sorry for the confusion, I meant the file attachment.'

Sibling

65 views · DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.

The image is a screenshot of an online information panel about Adolf Hitler. It includes a brief biography and some personal details such as his parents and siblings.

Number

5 views · Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

Probably the quack troop for me bc I will have the numbers say what you would choose in the comments

The image shows four panels with different ducks. The first panel features a duck with a stern look called "Dug." The second panel has a white duck called "Polar Duck." The third panel shows three ducks in trench coats and hats called "The Quack Troop." The last panel is a close-up of a duck's head called "Big Quack." Above the panels, it says, "One will protect you, the rest will attack you, choose wisely."

WiFi

20 views · Toast ツ · 2 years ago

Sex

7 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tweet that reads "stop being horny. find jesus @stopthehorny. I am CRYING because people have sex. Please stop." The tweet was posted on April 4, 2021, at 6:02 PM via Twitter for iPhone. It has 737 retweets, 49 quote tweets, and 2,557 likes.

Insult

6 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message that reads, "Listen here you toe-eyed cabbage, I wasn't born into this world so your fat ass could choke out low-level insults at me. I hope you stub your toe in the dark and have to crawl around your bedroom at 3:47am in horrific pain after going to the kitchen for a midnight snack of cheese and crackers, you absolute gormless minger."

Smoking

227 views · 𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 · 3 years ago

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Moon Knight

3 views · Wade · 2 years ago

Moon Knight is awesome

The image is a three-panel comic style picture. In the first panel, Spider-Man is in the upper part saying, "It's over, Moon Knight! I have the high ground!". In the second panel, Moon Knight replies, "Impossible. You don't even know how many drugs I'm on right now. That's not what I--". In the third panel, Moon Knight declares, "Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!"

Fate

Grizzlymilk · 2 years ago

You have been visited by Leonard the all knowing. He shall decide your fate…

A plush toy with a multi-colored mane and a white hat with a blue pine tree symbol on it. Text overlay: You have been visited by Leonard the all knowing. He shall decide your fate…

Child

13 views · Wade · 2 years ago

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Account

50 views · Emo Ness🖤🖤🖤 · 3 years ago

lol anons are idiots

A series of comments made by someone named Emo Ness. Emo Ness asks why they are being called fake, states that having an account does not make someone real and states that they had the account for a long time.

Autism

63 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A multi-panel meme. The top panel is a cartoon showing a sad baby elephant covered in numerous syringes. It has a speech bubble that says "I have autism". In the background, a woman sits on a couch while a man watches a television screen that displays the text "SCIENTISTS ARE MYSTIFIED AS TO WHAT IS CAUSING AUTISM". This panel is shared by "Kari Bundy - Health Activist". Below this, a comment from user "absurdist-void" reads: "you're laughing but i can't stop my autistic elephant son from shooting heroin while i'm trying to watch tv with my bitch wife".

Motivation

2 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 2 years ago

Me today and everyday in existence

Two cats lying down, seemingly exhausted. One cat is leaning against the wall, with its mouth open. The text on the image says: "When you need to clean but have no motivation so you just sit there for a while like".

Assignment

40 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 2 years ago

😑😑

The image shows a light brown dog with a suspicious expression. The text on the image says "THAT'S SUSPICIOUS..." Above the dog, additional text reads "when u have no assignments due and time to relax."