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Shrek

biscuit · 2 years ago

shrek has a potato for a nose

An illustration from a children's book showing a green, ogre-like character named Shrek standing over a dead peasant on the ground. Shrek is wearing a pink and purple tunic and green pants. He has laser beams coming from his eyes that are heating a piece of food on a large rock. The peasant lies on the ground, wearing a yellow tunic and red pants. The text below describes Shrek's interaction with the peasant and how the peasant died from seeing Shrek, while Shrek used his "microwave eyes" to heat his meal.

Pass

DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

why so many

A screenshot of a video, likely from YouTube Shorts, showing a Black man with a surprised expression, wearing a backward baseball cap. Text overlays the video: 'I will give away one N-Word pass for every like on this video.' Below the video player, text reads '@manlikeisaac Subscribed Spread the word.' The right side shows like/dislike buttons, indicating 1.3 million likes.

Robin

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

A four panel cartoon shows a man with a bow and arrow, Robin, taking a bag of gold from a king and stating he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. In the second panel the king states that Robin took all his money and now he is the poor one. In the third panel Robin is looking at a bag of gold stating he is now the rich one and a woman looks at him surprised. In the fourth panel Robin is handing the woman a bag of gold saying sorry but it is only fair.

Liberty

help me please im being abused · 2 years ago

The image shows a man holding a stick or spear, positioned against a yellow backdrop. Above him are three red and blue banners that read, "GIVE," "ME," and "LIBERTY." In the bottom left corner, it reads, "HAMPTON HISTORY MUSEUM."

Fault

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows an anime girl, Misha, sitting on the floor with prosthetic legs. A dialogue box above her says, "Oh! Sorry, that was my fault." Below it, another box says, "JESUS CHRIST, DID YOUR MOM GIVE BIRTH ON A MINE FIELD?" Another text box at the bottom says, "Misha: "Wahahatch where you're going~!"

Parasite

Wade · 2 years ago

A woman with long dreadlocks and a colorful hat is pictured. The text over her reads: "Claims unborn babies are just parasites, which gives mothers the right to kill them. Doesn't realize that makes her an overgrown parasite."

Give

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Wife

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A sculpture of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet is holding a honey pot. Winnie the Pooh is reaching out with a long arm to grab it. The text reads: "Give me all of your bee syrup now. Please don't take it from me, my wife is pregnant."

Animal

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows text above a photo of a cow stuck in a metal structure, with the name "pablo" written on the bottom. The text says "Step 1: Google animals stuck in weird places. Step 2: Give it a common Spanish name. Step 3: Profit."

Evolution

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows four panels. The first panel shows an ape looking up with the text, "Evolution, can u give me brains to understand world?". The second panel shows a drawing of the evolution of various animals and the text "To understand world?". The third panel shows the same ape looking excited with the text "yeeeeeeeees". The fourth panel shows a silhouetted figure sitting with their head in their hands with the text "actually develops crippling depression like a fcking loser". The final panel shows the same silhouetted figure standing with a noose around its neck with the text "suicide time.".

Kiss

H3LL0_K1TTY · 2 years ago

Ethan should give me an Australian kiss 🤭

A woman is shown lying on her back with her arms above her head. Above her image are the words "AUSTRALIAN KISS" followed by "EQUALS AN UPSTAIRS MIX... TOILET BOWL BALLSUCKER".

Egg

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two tweets are shown. The first tweet says: "Imagine walking 2km to hatch an egg and it turning out to be a fucking magikarp." The second tweet is by user Magikarp The Fish saying: "imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you"

Disease

Chunke Monke · 2 years ago

it all makes sense now 😮😮😮

The image has the title "Cooties" followed by a definition. "Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as 'STDs.'" It then gives two examples: "Age 8: 'Ewww... She has cooties, I can't talk to her!'" and "Age 15: 'Ewww... She has herpes, I can't sleep with her!'"

View

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

Stonk boi

Silly Sonka · 2 years ago

Stonk Boi: Give me dat

The image features the stonk boi character with a blank face and smooth head on a red background. The top text is 'YO MIEM' and the bottom text is 'OWUAR MIEM'. A hammer and sickle is visible in the background.

Mother

ɮǟʀօռ ɦɛʟʍʊȶ zємσ · 2 years ago

The image shows a still of Nala from "The Lion King" with a large red circle with a line through it superimposed over her head. There is text in yellow on the right saying "THIS IS NOT OKAY". Below the image is the text "Patriotic Christian Mothers Against the Frankly Obscene Look Nala Gives Simba After He Lands On Top Of Her In The Jungle Wrestling Scene."

Skin

M3ME G0D · 2 years ago

The image shows four sheep standing next to each other on green grass. The text above the sheep reads: "Game: Gives a free skin. Everyone:"

Feeling of power

Gummy gummy gummy bear · 2 years ago

A bar graph showing what gives people feelings of power. Money is at the bottom, then status, and then a far longer bar for saying shhh in a loud room and everyone going quiet immediately. Text reads: WHAT GIVES PEOPLE FEELINGS OF POWER. MONEY. STATUS. SAYING SHHH IN A LOUD ROOM AND EVERYONE GOING QUIET IMMEDIATELY.

Shirt

Wilkinsonburritos · 2 years ago

I wish my friends would give me this shirt

A black t-shirt with a picture of the Twin Towers. Instead of buildings, the towers are spaghetti and the words "Never Forgetti" are written on the shirt.

Halloween

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows two scenes of the same bathtub. In the first scene, a person is relaxing in the tub, saying, "I am so relaxed." In the second scene, a second person has appeared in the tub, wearing a witch hat, and says, "Surprise!" The first person is clearly shocked and asks, "Why is this happening?"

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