Worst Jokes Ever

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Figure Memes

ur momy

me every time with something

A person with long brown hair and sunglasses is holding two cups with green liquid, trying to figure out which cup is less full. The text reads: "Trying to figure out which cup is less full to give it to your sibling".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows eight different skeletons or parts of skeletons. The first one, a full skeleton, is labeled "Skeleton". The next has three skulls stacked on top of each other labeled "Sksksk". The third skeleton consists of only rib cages labeled "EleEleEle". The fourth, also a full skeleton, is called "Tontonton". The fifth is a skeleton with a single head and is labeled "Skton", followed by a single spine labeled "Eeeeeeeee". The seventh skeleton consists of a skull and an upside-down rib cage, labeled "Elesk", and finally, the last skeleton, labeled "Skelen", is a skeleton with the limbs slightly detached from the body.

randomone

Finding common ground

A split image from an anime shows two figures shaking hands under banners. The banners say "Whitney Houston" and "George Floyd". Below is a close up of the same handshake with the text "Having no air".

Heroin Monkey

A hand holds a toy in its packaging. The packaging is for "Avengers Age of Ultron", but inside, there is a figure of Luigi.

TechPriestGotDrip

posting Bionicle memes till I'm famous

A Bionicle figure is shown in full red and gold armor. The text above says, "This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like."

TechPriestGotDrip

The image depicts a scene with text above and below an image of a lego figure. The text at the top reads "Obi-Wan: Hello there" and "General Grievous:". Below the text is a lego figure of General Grievous with 4 arms moving in a circle. The text at the very bottom reads "-General Kenobi-".

PokemonCardMemeBoiiii

The image shows a Pokemon card with Dora as the character. It states that, "An island eater such as myself has always been fated to go hungry.", and the attack is called "Perfect Spanish" where Dora will talk in spanish, making the opponent confused.

Heroin Monkey

A white Lego skeleton figure is holding a large white cylinder in front of it. The cylinder is positioned to look like a penis.

Heroin Monkey

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

The Ugly Rat

When you figure out your sibling is an online dater:

A black and white cartoon drawing of a man, Nicolas Cage, with a surprised and slightly amused expression.

Wade

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

TechPriestGotDrip

The image shows a Bionicle figure next to a container with a picture of the same Bionicle character on the label. The text above the image reads "Me: I am not that old" and "Also me:".

TechPriestGotDrip

The image shows two figures labeled "before" and "after". The "before" figure is a simple, skinny, white and black toy figure. The "after" figure is a complex, muscular, gold, white, and blue toy figure wielding a large weapon with crystalline blades. Above the two figures it reads: "I got ripped in 3 weeks thanks to the Mask of Creation." Below them it reads: "Click here to find out how."

Heroin Monkey

A car window decal shows three stick figures in jail, then a female stick figure and nine small stick figures indicating a family.

Heroin Monkey

A statue of Shrek with a big, cartoonish mustache, and a small girl sitting on a part of his statue also has a big mustache.

big [fire] balls

The image shows a platypus at the top, with the text "On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said..." underneath. Below that is an image of a cartoon God giving a thumbs up with the text "let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out".

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Toast ツ

The image shows a cartoonish scene with a title that reads "Massacre Time" with a gun integrated into the text. Below it reads "with Eric & Dylan". There are two figures below. One is standing on a pile of debris holding a guitar, while the other is falling from the top. The background shows a burning city with smoke.

Testicle

hiiii :3 omg haiiii ^^ :000 :>> >w<

A hand-drawn image of a skeleton-like figure with a skull for a head, holding a cigarette, standing on a blob. There are some squiggly lines in the background.

tabs1528

Just the Fact that this exists

The image shows several boxes of "Skibidi Toilet" toys. The packaging features a cartoon image of a man's head inside a toilet. One box is held in a hand and reads: "SKIBIDI TOILET, MYSTERY COLLECTOR FIGURE, SERIES ONE, 1 FIGURE." Another box reads: "SKIBIDI TOILET, MYSTERY SURPRISE TOILET SERIES ONE". The packaging also includes the text "MYSTERY SURPRISES INSIDE" and "TRY ME" plus warning text. The items are displayed in what looks like a retail store.

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