Worst Jokes Ever

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Adolf kitler

Four cartoon cats are depicted with descriptions of their character. The first cat is a black cat labelled "problem clan" and described as wanting to be cool, being sneaky, and always ending up with villains. The second cat is a beige cat labeled "I am speed" and described as being small, saying "get off my land," and thinking it is better than you. The third cat is a light blue cat labeled "swimmy" and described as starting a fight over some rocks, eating fish and forgetting who some people are. The last cat is an orange cat labeled "protagonist" and described as doing no wrong, being involved in everything, and related to everyone.

Thoughtless

A newspaper clipping with text about a woman complaining about airplane bathroom windows and a stewardess replying that if there is a pervert clinging to the plane, they deserve to see everything.

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

big [fire] balls

An image of a platypus in its natural habitat. Text above the animal reads "They said I could be anything" and text below it reads "so I became everything."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Jazzy💕

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person suggests playing a game, asking who the other would choose to be stranded with on a deserted island. The other person replies, "That's easy. Dora - that girl has everything in her backpack." The first person responds with sad emojis.

Jazzy💕

ehehhe everything.

A meme showing a screenshot of a post. The text reads "Them: What is wrong with you?? Me: Nothing.". Below the text is a frame of a person looking up and to the left with a serious expression.

Jazzy💕

A man sits on a couch with his arms crossed, looking off to the side. Text above him reads: "When you're finally old enough to listen in on the family gossip and everything starts to make sense."

Jazzy💕

A person is looking into a sink drain with water running. The caption reads: "Them: So you really just gonna let everything we had go down the drain???"

MEME LORD

im just like spongebob's dumb ass cousin
bruh... no one cares about me and i fuck
everything up
138 comments
OT
bible camp victim ⚫ 08/23
B
OMG I USED TO JERK OFF TO HIM IN
134

Heroin Monkey

*there is a girl on the team
COUNTER
VALORANTO STRIKE
VALORANT
"hi Beauty, wow your voice is so soft, you like
this skin? don't worry, i buy everything you
want"
Vote Paused
Kicking player
COUNTER
STRIKE
You voted: YES

shaylie lol

A close-up photo of a baby with a slight smile looking directly at the camera. Above the image is text that reads, "Me on FaceTime ignoring everything the person is saying and looking at myself."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two pictures. The first picture shows a train on a bridge in a mountainous area. There is text below it stating, "Switzerland's military has remained neutral since 1815, but the entire country is rigged to explode. Thousands of demolition points are wired into bridges, highways, and railroads across the nation so that everything can be destroyed if invaders attack". The second picture shows a man holding a belt with a worried expression. The text below the man states, "WHO'S THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF".

Nateツ

A cartoon character, Ralph, looks up with a confused expression. The text on the image says, 'When you unplug all the noisy beeping machines in the hospital and everyone starts sleeping better. Why do I fix everything I touch?'

Anonymous

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

Wade

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

M3ME G0D

The image shows a dialogue where a doctor, mom, and dad all say "Everything is Fine." Then, it shows Patrick Star from Spongebob with the text "Cancer take it or leave it" overlaid, indicating what Google might say.

Chexers

murder

The image shows a children's book cover. The title reads, "Everything I Want to Do Is Illegal." Below, there is an illustration of a farm with animals, a red barn, a farmer, and a red truck. There is also a soldier with a weapon and an American flag.

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