New Can Memes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*

The image shows a painting of the founding fathers signing a document above a US flag, and an assault rifle. Text on the image reads: "2nd Amendment has nothing to do with hunting or home defense. It's about defending our freedom from oppressive government."

Two comments from the same user. The first comment posted 1 day ago says, "can people stop begging for followers, it's cringe." The second comment posted 2 months ago says, "Follow me or you are gay."

@BreezyCarter
Hubby likes shoving soft boiled eggs
up my vagina (I can hold 3) and then I
squat down and lay the eggs like a hen
and hubby will eat them coated with my
juices →

A box of Case-o's cereal with a picture of a person giving a thumbs up. The cereal is said to be the finest cereal and that Twitch Bits can get you. It is made with real honey and can help lower cholesterol as part of a heart healthy diet.

A yellow emoji with wide eyes, exaggerated eyelashes, and a large, open mouth is holding a fist to its mouth. The text above reads, "Love, that's not the coughing emoji. Edited to add: as of this morning (1st April), Tanunda is now doing a drive through. You can just explain your symptoms, and drive through and get tested - no appointment needed for this. As for the walk in clinic at the back of the hospital - this is STILL operating and STILL requires you to make an appointment. Thanks everyone! Hi everyone. A member wanted me to update you on the Corona Virus Health Testing Station set up at Tanunda Hospital. Please don't just roll up, as y..."

A person is laying face down on a white surface. The character Plankton from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants" is standing on top of the person's back and "massaging" their lower back. Text above the picture reads: "Baby can you give me an upper back massage" Me:

Would make any day better. If you don’t understand this then research “shaiden rouge.” She is a scientist who explains how this could improve somebody’s mental state.

A collage with two images. On the left, a woman is putting her hair up in a ponytail from a close-up. On the right, there is a woman putting her hair up in a ponytail, in two different images. Text on the top says: "when your man is having a rough day and says nothing can fix it."

A woman's face is covered in white fluid. The text says "If a girl gives you this look, it means she might have a crush on you. You can tell by the slight angle of her smile."

Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.

The image is a six-panel cartoon depicting a couple sitting at a desk with a laptop. In the first panel, the woman is asking the man for help. The man then helps her. Then the woman asks him to come closer again. Finally, the man hugs her while she is using her laptop. The text bubbles say: "CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?", "HERE... DONE!", "CAN YOU COME HERE AGAIN?" and "BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG."

Would be funny but I’d rather not get beat to death.

The image shows a text conversation followed by two close-up photos of animals. The text reads: "Me: *having dinner at her house*. Her: can you pass the salt daddy? Me and her father reaching out for the salt." The animals are a dog looking slightly surprised on the left and a cat looking innocently on the right.

An unpleasant pause.

Two people are looking at each other. Text above them reads: "When the show on Netflix is actually good". Text on the bottom of the image reads: "[exhales] The head can wait."

My friend is has the best ideas

A screenshot of a discord conversation. Windy says that hopefully a bad situation wont happen, and the two friends might work it out. Seth replies with 'Eh'. Windy then says if the situation happens too much, to just put the persons parents in a retirement home. Seth replies with 'Lmao'.

Lmao

The image shows three laughing emojis above the text "Only a genius can say these four words four times really fast." Below that, the words "EYE, YAM, STEW, PEED" are displayed in red.

The image shows a tweet by Sophie that says "I must study war so my sons can study business so their sons can study art so their sons can write gay vampire fiction". Below is another tweet from Populism Updates stating "12. Ulysses S. Grant's great-grandson, an author of gay vampire fiction" with an image of an older man wearing a bow tie and a striped jacket.

IWS/INGEN - COLLAB ACC!

A man is smiling knowingly and pointing to his head. Text overlaid on the image reads, "No one can break your heart if you don't let them into your life."

Best gift you can give your siblings

A white mug with the text: "I THINK ME BEING YOUR SISTER IS ENOUGH OF A GIFT" printed on it.

The image is a comparison of Joey Bada$$ and J. Cole in a 2x2 format. Joey Bada$$ is pictured on the left with text below him that reads "Released the best mixtape of 2012", "Can freestyle", "Acted in Mr. Robot", and "I'm a titan, like Zeus I enlighten them". J. Cole is pictured on the right with text below that reads "Released no mixtape in 2012", "Pre-writes his freestyles", "Never acted in Mr. Robot", and "Doesn’t enlighten anybody".

The meme shows a cartoon with two characters. In the first panel, one character calls out to the other. In the next panel, a different character has their arms raised and says: "been completely developed, I can heal you from your illness now". The third panel shows the second character starting to use magic with the text "Ok, here I go". The following panel has two close-ups of glowing eyes and the final panel shows one character with a new hairstyle and the other character embracing them.

The image contains text from a tweet by Alice Smith that says: "Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Elect a man to fish for you, and all of a sudden fishing becomes some mystical function that only a few elite in society can perform, at great expense to the rest of it."