Worst Jokes Ever

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DAP ME UP

My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.

The image is a screenshot of an online information panel about Adolf Hitler. It includes a brief biography and some personal details such as his parents and siblings.

poodle

my hair line go's around the would but not my freind

A photo of two young people. The person in the front has blond hair pulled into a small bun on top of their head. They are looking down at the camera with a slight smirk. The person in the background has red hair, wears glasses, and is slightly blurred, looking at the camera. The text on the post says: "my hair line goes around the world but not my friend".

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

Wade

Antisocial

The image shows a two-panel meme featuring Spongebob. In the top panel, Spongebob looks disgruntled with his eyes closed. The text reads: "Asking an employee where the product you're looking for is." In the bottom panel, Spongebob is smiling and pointing with text: "Walking around the store for a half hour looking for it instead of asking."

Anonymous

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

ur mommy

those one people that joke around to much

A baby with cake smudged around its mouth is holding a spoon. Text above the baby says, "TOUCH MY CAKE," and text below the baby says, "AND I'LL CUT YOU."

Heroin Monkey

A man looking upset is pictured above a comment that reads: "I have your face on a carpet and I like to strip naked and cover myself in honey and roll around on the carpet until I pee (love your bellybutton)." Text over the man reads: "Bro leave this man alone."

Im totally not drunk 2.0

As a man can confirm

A toy in its packaging is labeled "Useless Man". It says, "This man contributes absolutely nothing to society! Lazy. Unwashed. Just lies around all day eating chips. Now with clothing!"

Heroin Monkey

The comic strip shows Jon Arbuckle warning Garfield about the "fabric of reality." In the second panel, Garfield touches something, and it breaks and he is shattering into many pieces.

shaylie lol

A still from a meme shows the text, "When you're trying to eat in class but then the teacher turns around and you're just like..." followed by a picture of Harry Styles making a funny face.

Why should you care

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

Adolf kitler

A black and white cat with large, green eyes stares intently at the camera. The text above the image says, "When a cat closes its eyes around you it means it trusts you" My cat:

Anonymous

Hopefully you all had a happy Easter. I did not do anything

A cartoon image of Tom the cat wearing a roman helmet and reading a newspaper with a surprised expression on his face. The text above reads: "when that hippie jewish carpenter you literally just crucified is walking around talking to people."

Hailey ❁

My work here is done.

The image says "Be kind to yourself because..." followed by six reasons to be kind to yourself: 1. No one will ever be kind to you as much as you will be to yourself. 2. You deserve to receive all the kindness back in the world that you give out. 3. Being kind to yourself will add up to your self love and value and you will end up feeling much better than you did before. 4. It is a form of respecting and accepting yourself for who you are which can also encourage you to become more than you are. 5. It will expand your inner beauty which will shine on the outside. 6. Kindness makes your world and the world around you better.

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message that reads, "Listen here you toe-eyed cabbage, I wasn't born into this world so your fat ass could choke out low-level insults at me. I hope you stub your toe in the dark and have to crawl around your bedroom at 3:47am in horrific pain after going to the kitchen for a midnight snack of cheese and crackers, you absolute gormless minger."

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

King bob

Math teacher

A screenshot from a Reddit post. It says "Math Teacher Finally Gets A Nuke! (Thanks for all the tips!)" and comments on the player's accuracy and strategy.

Heroin Monkey

A young man looks directly at the camera with a distressed expression. Overlaid text reads "I was just messing around wdym I can't change my username for 30 days 😭". Visible below is the username "thecpgooner" and the word "Bro".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Heroin Monkey

A picture shows a chart advertising crystals for negativity, but someone edited the picture, adding a pile of meth in the middle and the word "meth" at the bottom.

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