Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Across Memes

MATTIX

The meme shows two large trucks on the road with custom, oversized tires. The left truck is a red Jeep, while the right truck is a black pickup truck. Text on the image reads: "I sure hope he never needs to use the spare! When your truck has worms and scoots it's acres across the road."

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets are shown in a side by side comparison. The first tweet reads: "To be fair, you could drive for 149 hours across Vatican City if you drive slow enough." The second tweet below the first one reads: "You can drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia". The second tweet also includes an image of the Russian map with a line of travel highlighted. It shows the route from west to east of Russia and has a text bubble displaying '149 hr'.

Heroin Monkey

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

Heroin Monkey

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Heroin Monkey

A two-panel comic shows a job interview. In the first panel, a bald interviewer with a blue tie says, "So, I came across your resume," holding a paper. The second panel shows the interviewer holding the same paper with a scribbled drawing on it, saying, "I do apologise."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a puppet of Ernie looking angry holding a long thin object. Below him another puppet, Bert, looks terrified. There is text below the puppets: "This is what happens to snitches!" Ernie suddenly shouted. The last thing Bert ever saw was his own blood spraying across the mirror.

Thoughtless

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Wade

A Pokemon card featuring a plush shark toy labeled "May" as a basic Pokemon with 30 HP. The card includes attacks named "Suicidal Karen" and "Victimize," and the text reads, "If you come across this Pokémon in the wild, RUN. Run away immediately, kill it if you can, but fuckin RUN."

Heroin Monkey

A sailing ship at sea with the text "We're so back" above it. Underneath is a news snippet from CNN that reads, "Giant kites could pull cargo ships across the ocean - and slash their carbon emissions".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows Squidward on one side of a brick wall and Spongebob on the other side. Below the image it says: "Two Germans (Eastern and Western) attempt communication across the Berlin Wall. (May 13, 1963) (re-colorized)".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two pictures. The first picture shows a train on a bridge in a mountainous area. There is text below it stating, "Switzerland's military has remained neutral since 1815, but the entire country is rigged to explode. Thousands of demolition points are wired into bridges, highways, and railroads across the nation so that everything can be destroyed if invaders attack". The second picture shows a man holding a belt with a worried expression. The text below the man states, "WHO'S THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF".

Anonymous

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

αmy

i know what i’m naming my child

A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."

Wade

Isn’t this card just great?(if I revamp it I’m gonna make it more pathetic lmao)

A Pokémon card featuring a plush shark named May, described as a "Transgender Pokémon". The card lists moves such as "Suicidal Karen" and "Victimize". The card also includes a warning to "RUN" if encountered in the wild.

GG Miller

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

Something I came across today.

A two-panel cartoon shows a person in 1990 and 2008. In 1990 the person is thin, standing next to a bulky CRT TV. In 2008, the person is overweight, standing next to a flat-screen TV. The text labels "1990" and "2008" are placed above the respective panels.