Medical condition jokes
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”