Liquor jokes

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.