Lenin jokes

Country

  • In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

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  • Soviet

  • Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

    Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

    Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

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  • Artist

  • An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

    The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

    "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

    "Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

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  • Stalin

  • A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”

    A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”

    The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”

    Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”

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  • Community talk

  • Litmus test to detect nazis:

    Do you think nazism should be made illegal?

    We are not revealing anything else but asking that simple question. If you say ANYTHING else, they will try to reply to everything else. So, just ask the question. We are looking for the initial response.

    If the reply is "define nazism", you are talking most likely with a nazi. You see, we never defined nazism so whatever image popped in thei… Read more