Newest Laughter Jokes - Page 19

A small boy whent up to a dog fountain? the more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.

Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna...-" Vortex: "You'll do what?" Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!" *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness* Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

when i sh one day, my mother told me that it cuter her deep, we both found that very amusing

*COUGHS ROUGHLY* OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH I CANT SEE IT BURNS HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP *Weakly* !

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked "Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said "No, but I like the way you think!" Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said "Little Johnny!" He replied "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes

I didnt get the joke at first then it hit me like a plane

why do 911 jokes always fail. they always crash and burn

A little girl was sitting with some other kids, she thought to herself, I want to have kids when Im older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!🤣🤣

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

what do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar lol

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

Me: Wanna hear a joke? Person: Sure Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life. But my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning Person: Dear god..

What is the difference between a orphan and a blind kid

They both can’t see there parents😂😂😂😂😂

So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face

That’s the punch line

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ”

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”