Kidney

Kidney Jokes

Apple

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Hero

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

Mama

Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.

Hero

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

Part

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey!

Hero

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

Banana

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

Surgery

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Hospital

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

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