Inactivity jokes

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.