How I Met Your Mother jokes

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”

When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.